A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HelloWell i wrote about m previous experience on here about my first time experience in a brothel (first time ever) and what it taught me.... that i want a slow meaningful relationship with a girl (as i know for sure i dont want just sex as i know how bad it can be) Now all i get is from people i chat to is that you're ant social.... But the way i see it is that im alone. I mean at university i try to do stiff with people but they always say "no im going home" or something else daft. So there i havent found any one to click with so i feel lonely and ill never meet any 1 that wants what i want ...Also to like stop the feeling of loneliness taking over I joined a gym a year ago and thnk it has changed me alot as before i was fat and now am very built. But when people ask me what i did today or last night... i tell them the truth and say " i went to the gym" and all they do i laugh :D or dismiss me .. which is annoying as I'm not into drinking like them but still listen to their stories with interest. NO i think ive become very muscley and have found a lifetime hobby... but i just want to know what you think about the people ive met and if you think ill be feeling alone for a long long time... (relationship wise)(p.s. at the gym i talk to the guys there and they all like me and its a good social thing aswell) also ive never had a girlfriend before, its my dream now to have someone to care for and some one to care for me as i dont have many friends (right now close to zero) as you could probably tell ...
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female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 you wont be lonely forever you just have to give it time get to know girls before asking them about their views on relationships or finding out whether they are interested.dont worry if they laugh about you going to the gym atleast your getting into shape.i think you need to try and mingle and get some friends otherwise you wont have any self confidence
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I can identify with a lot of what is going on here with you although it was all rather a long time ago. I was also a somewhat muscly 19 year old ( I was British Universities Weighlifting Silver Medalist twice) and I didn't find myself attracted to groups of people. I spent my early years on a small island in the South Pacific and then to an all boys boarding school so I had remarkably little idea about what made girls tick other than what I had read in novels (dangerously wrong) or (worse) in anthologies of 18th and 19th century romantic poets.
For me the answer lay in team sports and excessive drinking. If I hadn't played rugby at Cambridge I might have become a recluse in my rooms. As it was I had a good time and I made friends that are still important to me 20 years later.
It sounds as if you have set your heart against alcohol but give it a chance. No offence intended but from what you have written it is possible that some people find you a little odd. Mutual excessive alcohol consumption dulls the oddness and forges inter-personal bonds that remain when the alcohol has gone.
Your last paragraph is a little scary. It sounds to me as if you are all set to find a girl and put her on a pedestal. Don't do it. You would think that they would like it up there but they don't. They will mess with your head, break your heart, screw you up for 4 years and then marry a New Zealand America's Cup Helmsman, or something like that.... sensitive gets you nowhere, other than writing bad peusdo-byronic poetry to the girl who has already jumped off her pedestal and shacked up with the sailor.
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