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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I really like this guy at work, I am on a contract that ends in the next 8 months but the work policy does not allow employees to form relationships as it creates conflict of interests. We flirt a lot and he responds very well, I have a feeling he likes me, but we can't be seen to have any feelings for each other. He is shy and single, and we both know we like each other but can't act. He is in his late 30's and is also looking for a long term relationship. It stresses me to know he is currently single, knowing that he spends weekends alone, seeking other female interaction, though he is unattainable for me because of work depresses me as I see him as so compatible for me for a long term relationship, but this job makes it impossible. I have never come across anyone like him and I don't mind waiting. I can not confirm that he feels the same, it would only be an assumption to think so. Is it possible for a man to wait for a women? Is there anything I can do to convince him that I am worth the wait. Am I living a fantasy thinking that we could date once my contract ends (8 months away) or am I hoping for the unlikely?
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (30 September 2013):
 This whole scenario is based on a huge "what if"!
If this guy likes you and would like to pursue a relationship with you then he would probably be very happy to wait. This wouldn't prevent you having the odd coffee or meal out at weekends as friends until your contract expires.
But as, Uncle Doug says, he doesn't even know you like him so how can he wait for something he doesn't know exists?
Outside of work, make contact with him and ask him out for a drink, you will then be in a better position to ascertain his feelings for you. Then you need to be honest and let him know how you feel.
If he feels the same, brilliant, if he doesn't then, at least you know and you'll be out of there in 8 months anyway.
I do know how you feel, I had a guy friend, we were both newly divorced and I thought he liked me and I liked him.
One day he told me he was going home to visit his parents and have a guys night out with his, very single, brothers.
I started to imagine him seeking out the company of other ladies and realised how much he had come to mean to me. I decided I had two options, tell him and risk a knock back or do nothing and see him in another woman's arms.
I took the plunge and told him how I felt, knowing this could ruin our friendship, and guess what, he felt the same and he's now my husband and we've been together for 11 years.
I'll never regret taking that leap.
Be brave and tell him how you feel, you may not be rejected and just find everything you've ever dreamed of.
Work rule or no, if it's meant to be then you can work something out but you'll never know unless you speak up.
I hope this helps AB x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Is that even legally binding to tell people who they can and cannot date in the work place, providing they are not related etc??? Were you thinking of leaving your job if he wants to date you because otherwise the firm you work for may still have the same issues. I'd speak to someone legally minded about this. I mean, where people are concerned there are always gonna be conflicts of interest. just looked at the website with lists one or two thing you could do to go around it - nay or may not be helpful xxhttp://www.inc.com/chas-rampenthal/dating-in-the-office-is-it-legal.html
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (30 September 2013):
 "is it possible for a man to wait for a woman?" yes it is possible if a man has someone that he cares about or cares about him, its not impossible. "is there anything i can do to convince him i am worth the wait." yes but someone must act, someone must make a move in the direction and that is you. you can't have contact at work because of restrictions, but is he worth passing him a note with your name and phone no. asking him to call you after work? it sounds like he is worth it to you. get the ball rolling from there. get him to call you and tell him you would like to see him in the future, tell him you fell restricted at work work to open up to him.let him know you would like to see him. whats it going to hurt??? " am i living a fantasy thinking that we could date once my contract ends (8 months away) or am i hoping for the unlikely?" the only way you are living a fantasy is if you let this moment pass and in the future have to ask your self what if??? what if i would have done this? or that ??? then it will be fantasy and wondering what could have been. you are not hoping for the unlikely if he knows you are there, knows you are interested, knows that you are worth waiting for, knows you care for him. make a contact what will it hurt, let him know you want to see him after work to get to know him, and at work keep your feelings under control. don't let it pass you by, you may regret it if you do. i hope this helps.
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