A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im 20 years old and recently a guy who I went to high school contacted me via facebook. We have been chatting a bit and we asked for my number. Then on the phone he asked me out on a date for next week. I said yes.But I am so worried that he wont like me for me.You see, we are so different.He is an overly confident guy who could walk up to anyone and talk to them easily. Hes very friendly, outgoing, talkative etc...I on the other hand am exstremely shy for a while until I have spent a fair amount of time with someone, then I relax and talk more. In school I never really talked to him cause I was way to scared cause I thought he was just so amazing. Im so happy now I am given a chance but Im afraid Ill be to shy and he wont like me. Im afraid he wont be patient enough to wait around for me to become less shy.Ive always dated really out going and overly confident guys and none of them have understood what its like being shy. They usualy wait aroudn for me to stop being shy around them, but then why Im sure aroudn their friends they get really mad at me and are not patient enough to wait for me to become comfortable aroudn there friends....they just dump me saying we are too different.So im afraid this guy might not understand and be patient with me.Are there outgoing and confident people who do actually understand what its like being shy? Who will be patient? From my experience so far, I havent had someone like that so im very worried.any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Have you heard the term "opposites attract"?
This guy went all the way to look for you at Facebook, talk to you, and even phone you and ask you on a date. Well, this seems to me that he's very interested in you!
And don't give up hope when he hasn't shown any sort of disinterst or lack of understanding towards you. Heck, you haven't even started with him! Many people who think they have bad luck are just setting themselves for the worst of the situations, and this is the same thing you're doing now. Yes, it's normal to doubt a future relationship and even more when you have experience about it, but you can't let it deter you from actually living the moment with the person.
You can't let your insecurities from making this relationship work. If you do, it will probably CAUSE it to NOT work! It's like a vicious circle. You think this relationship will not work, you build up your insecurities, he notices this insecurites and tries to help, but your own insecurites make you not trust him, he gives up and you believe he would have never understood you. And would happen again with the next person. Stop this insecurities NOW before they become hard to get rid off! Just have faith (hope) that he will be that one guy who will understand you.
Now you're asking if there are outgoing people who understand those who are shy, and yes, there are. There are many MANY outgoing people who are friends/married/in a relationship to someone who is shy. If they have found someone and accepted them, why wouldn't this guy? Just Have HOPE.
Now good luck and I DO wish that he's an understanding guy.
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