A
female
age
36-40,
*nn84
writes:Ive a bf who is overweight. He is planning to have a surgery but Iam little bit worried because he may cheat on me after surgery. Cause Iam thinking that oh nowhe is overweight and he thinks no girl looks at her thats why he is really into me and cares about me and evrytime he doesnt want to lose me but after surgery does he behave the same? or oh I dont care cuz Iam slim now and good looking he can do whatever he want…
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 You are slim now, so I presume you weren't before.
So now that your slim, did you leave him? Do you think, "Oh I can get a guy who is better looking, so lets dump this guy"?
No? Then don't sell him short.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 mmm.. sorry, but there are valid reasons to consider such things.. consider, not worry and drive yourself mad.
Many people who have dramatic weight lost do re-evaluate their lives and decide to change things for the better. Sometimes, as you said, they decide that it's not love keeping them, but they are with their partner because they thought (she) would be the only one to love them. Same as people who pass their exams and managed to get high paying jobs. The change in their life means that opportunities that they wouldn't have got before suddenly land at their feet.
He's having surgery, he will loose a lot of weight, he will now have to watch his diet carefully, or probably because of the surgery he will no longer be able to eat large meals. His weight loss will also probably make him notice other thing that he dismissed before, things like fashion, trying to look good, maybe going out more as he feels less embarrassed about the way he looks.
As you noticed, I haven't said that this means that he will suddenly dump you. Why would he do that, he loves you and it's hard to leave somebody you love. However, he will probably change, and this may create stress on your relationship, and if you are overweight, you might feel inadequate and unattractive, or even jealous of him and the way that he's changed.
Good way to fix this, work on yourself, if you are overweight, then start to diet with him, start to exercise.
start looking at fashion, get into makeup, try to make yourself look as beautiful as you can. Go out more with your friends, get yourself a new hobby, don't depend only on him to make your life worth living. Then you'll be at the same level as him and will continue to share interests together. His life will be changing, it's a good idea to change your life as well. There are opportunities out there that you are missing, there are things that you probably are scared to do. You and him are together because you love one another, because you are scared right now, it sounds like you are only with him because you feel unattractive and you don't think anybody else will want you.
Be with a guy because you love him, not because you need him or because your hiding from the world. He's doing something about the way he looks, I suggest you do the same and try to look beautiful for you.
PS: If you are a good sized weight(didn't understand your post) and make the best of the way you look, then you really need to get more confidence in yourself and stop being so insecure. Maybe being around other people and finding other things beside your boyfriend will give you confidence and make you feel more secure.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
He loves you. You'll be fine. If you need reassurance, talk to him and tell him you just need a bit of reassurance.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 January 2010):
Do you honestly think he's with you because you're the best he can get???
If so then sod the surgery, dump him now because he's an arse hole.
You have some serious self esteem issues. Is having someone who can't do any better all you really think you are worth in relationship terms?
No one can tell the future. But you need to get your issues looked at.
Good Luck!! xx
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