A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. i love him alot but we havent had sex or anything. do you think its time or should we wait longer and if i do, will he get restless and decide to leave me?please answer Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ShanL +, writes (23 December 2008):
 I am a virgin myself and I have had three other boyfriends and they couldn't accept the fact that I wanted to wait so they cheated BUT they loved and wanted to wait.....and ti this day I am still a virgin an I have another boyfriend and he's waitng patiently on me when I'm ready. I said that to say this if you want to wait until you're 30 and he's your boyfriend he will have to accept it NO IF ANDS OR BUTS. Love patience and trust are the three main factors in/of love. So wait it out because I'm 17 and I haven't had sex no matter how much I loved the guy because you can become pregnant and you both can't say you're ready for a child at 16-17 years old. JUST WAIT IT OUT AND JUST GIVE HIM REASONS AND IF HE BECOMES IMPATIENT YOU TELL HIM THESE EXACT WORDS: EITHER WAIT OR GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME BUT YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR ME THAT'S NOT LOVE!
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 December 2008):
 You have already had some excellant advice from Ukmale and Sirena. You will never have regrets if you wait and you may well have regrets if you dont. You two have been together for a long time (and eternity in teen years!) so obviously you care very deeply about each other and have a lot of respect for each other. I suggest you wait until you are both adults at least. If he leaves you because you wont have sex, he didnt love you anyway...
...............................
A
male
reader, ukmale  +, writes (23 December 2008):
 You shouldn't be worrying about this at your age. Sex is something that shouldn't be entered into without being ready and how ever mature you and your boyfriend may be, I personally don't think you are (any 16-17 year old).As a man of some experience, I would say waiting is certainly a good thing to do. Men like to feel they have "won" a woman; some may say it's a hunter instinct or perhaps it's just being worthy. I don't know. I don't think it's a conscious thing.I know in my life I have stayed for longer with women I have waited for. Women who "give it up" too easily or too soon rarely last in my experience.I think it's a case of waiting for the right time, when both parties are ready and know they want to be with each other. He's stayed with you for two years; he obviously really likes your company and spending time with you. You could also try discussing it. If he has made no move towards sex, he most likely has his own concerns about being ready and knowing that you are.I was in the very same position when I was younger. When we parted, she was still a 17 year old virgin and I'm glad of that, because when she got married to another man, there was no sexual baggage to deal with. They are happy with a son. Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (23 December 2008):
 I know that you love him, but most young people wind up dating a variety of people, and you can only lose your virginity once. If he really loves you then he won't abandon you because you didn't feel like the time was right to have sex. You have your whole life ahead of you to have sex... and unfortunately, some of the consequences to having sex at the wrong time and in the wrong place can last a lifetime.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): When you have sex is up to you and your personal belief in the matter. If you feel you are not ready to have sex or that you shouldn't due to your own reasons, then don't do it. Some people might get tired of not being able to have sex, but if you aren't ready why have sex and possibly regret it. Have you talked to your boyfriend about the matter? What is his take on the matter? It's better to do what you want than to do something and end up loosing it all. What will happen if you do have sex and loose him for another reason? It's all up to you, I don't know what your beliefs are on the matter or whether or not you feel it is something you will have to do. I can't say whether or not your boyfriend will get restless. It's something you need to find out about your boyfriend and go from there. Never change yourself for someone else, as yourself is all you can ever know for sure you will have. Yourself is what you have to live with.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): do what you think is right
...............................
|
