A
female
age
,
*wiggy63
writes:My fiance and i split totally a few weeks ago after 3 mths of it being rocky due to his controlling and possesiveness over me,we have been together almost 4 yrs but known him 18yrs....He says now that he is a new guy and the person he was or 3 mths is now gone and hes back to himself..I am now stronger than when we split and feel he is trying to sway me back to be together but having said he would go for counselling about his problems and knowing he has not been to see anyone i really dont think i can put myself through the hurt and upset again .....how can he have learnt and changed his ways so fast......i love him and he loves me but he ruined our good relationship after he moved in by invading my space and time which isnt often by thinking we had to be together 24/7,trying to take over everything in my home then trying to be possesive over me,he then became manipulating saying i was imagining he was like it and it was all in my head.......i have since realised through reading many items here that its him not me.......i am very confused as we did previously have a very special relationship......and deep down he is a good man,but after 3 mths of living apart again i have come to think maybe its best that way.....and im not sure i can be owned by anyone ever again,not even him.....he has problems that stem from his childhood and unless these hget sorted i feel we will never be back the way we were ,please advise and thank you x
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female
reader, twiggy63 +, writes (23 January 2012):
twiggy63 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou so much for your advise
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): I feel you are right to stay away. There are plenty more fish in the sea, and someone else will probably suit you better.
He needs to sort out his issues and he has done nothing about it so hasn't changed at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): So what therapy and/or self improvement courses has he taken and is currently still enrolled in to attest to the beginning process of this miraculous change?
Best Advice, you yourself seek some individual counselling to strengthen yourself against falling for a man that is as you described, controlling, possessive to the degree you feel you are losing your mind. Not a very healthy or loving dynamic to base a relationship on.
IF you can do all you can on your side of the equation- it will increase the outcome on the other side of whom you chose to date.
Best Wishes. Hang in there.
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