A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:we have been together for almost a year and he tells me everyday that he loves me, he just does not show it. I tried telling him how I feel, then it will change for a few days and then return to the not feeling loved again. He get's upset easy and then sometimes says things that really hurt my feelings. I work until 8 pm almost every day, when i get home i look forward to spending time with him. But he rather be outside building on something.. like a fire or making other stuff. So i end up in the house by myself watching TV and going to bed by myself. The few times he does sit in the livingroom with me he hardly says anything to me, he sits in his recliner and i sit on the couch and again I end up going to bed by myself. Our love life, if you wanna call it that, well i guess it is there, kinda. I love him and I gave up everything for him, but this is really killing me! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): Every time I've seen couples I know where the woman gave up everything for the man, or to take the relationship further, (I dont' know any couples personally where it was the man who gave up everything to be with the woman), it has not worked out well.
usually the woman ends up resenting the man for not doing enough to make her feel good. And then she resents him and holds it over his head that she "gave up everything" for him so how could he be so mean/uncaring/unloving as to not be making SOME ongoing sacrifices for her too (which she feels would show his love).
Did he ask you to give up everything for him? Or was he appearing uninterested so you decided you had to give up everything to focus more on him and the relationship?
when you sacrifice everything for another person, you are subconsciously (or even consciously) going to resent them if they don't make sacrifices back for you which you deem as worthy enough. But if they never asked you to give up everything for them, and similarly they dont' want to give up what they have for you either, then...?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): Next time he says he loves you, tell him that you find it hard to believe and point out why.
I wonder what you gave up for him. Nobody is worth that much. Even people a happy relationship have other things and people in their lives.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): When you give up everything for a man, one you've known for not very long, he has to wonder how great your life was in the first place. Giving up everything leaves you with nothing. That's why you sit around all evening desperate for his attention and why you get taken for granted.
Get a life. Men aren't there to provide you with that, they are there to complement your already full life. What are your interests outside him? Why were they so easy to drop? Giving up everything doesn't get you love but it does make you less interesting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): Why would you give up everything for him? Does that sound like love? What did you give up for this man? Did this man ask for you to give up everything for him? What type of man asks that of a woman he loves?
If you want to snuggle him, sit on his lap in the recliner and watch TV together.
Some Men cannot read minds and some men may even not understand HOW to be loving, supportive. Some may need guidance on HOW To be Loving.
I don't really see solid evidence that Your Husband is not a loving man. I see a sad and hurt woman that is just talking out her emotions.
Have you thought to seek individual counselling? From individual counselling, you can determine why you would choose such a man that by your words is not a very affectionate, loving man. Good with words but does not follow through with actions.
Then, you can determine if you would like to problem solve this in couples counselling.
Hope this offers you some insight.
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