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female
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anonymous
writes: I want to get back with my ex even though we have different religious beliefs and I believe in waiting to have sex for marriage and he doesn't. And he thinks it's not a big deal to smoke but I do. He doesn't want me talking about how I think he disrespects me because he says I'm being too negative. And even though I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive, I'm missing him so much and I love him so much that I don't care if it will be hard to be with him and that we are going to have to work at it. Maybe I just need to state my boundaries very clearly and never give in to him. And maybe I should just put everything in the past and be positive no matter what. Maybe it will work this time around. But I broke up with him so many times that I don't know if he will take me back. And everyone else is advising me against it because they don't think he will ever change and I seemed so miserable. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Going back to him is the easiest thing, but that doesn't mean it's right.
Also, a person will NEVER EVER change because you wish he/she will, because you tell/want/ask them to, or because you try to force them into it. They change when they want to change, however they choose to change, and how much they feel comfortable changing. Factoring all those points in, you can see how it's highly unlikely he will ever change and you should stay away from him. You'll be happier in the long run...
A
female
reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Hi
I think choosing to be with someone who has different beliefs can sometimes be very hard work, you have to remember that both of your beliefs are different and each of you are doing what you believe is right.
Its not right making either of you change your ways to please the other cause simply... it doesn't work.
If this man is abusive to you then he clearly has no respect for you, & that is not a good starting point for a relationship, give yourself some respect & find yourself a man that can give you the love, respect and honesty that we all deserve.
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