A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy last year and we hit it off straight away. He told me he had a girlfriend but they weren't getting on and he was going to finish it with her, but they had a 4 day holiday booked next month so he was going to wait until after that to do it. So i saw him a few times before he left and the night before i left i told him i wasn't going to ring him when he got back. He was quite suprised about this and asked why, and i explained that he might go away with his girlfriend and sort everything out with her and i didn't want to get in the way of that. I said that if he still felt the same way when he got back and if he was going to break up with her then call me. He called me the day that he got back and met me that night. So i assumed (i know, stupid!) that this meant that he still felt the same and was going to break up with her. This was LAST YEAR and he still hasn't! He broke up with her briefly for about 3 weeks and spent every day with me, it was the best, but then i went travelling for 6 weeks and when i got back they were back together. We get on so well and our sex life is amazing. He tells me i'm perfect and how guilty he feels about what he's doing. I really don't know what to do, i would love to give him an ultimatum but i'm too scared in case he makes a decision i don't want to hear. How many years can this go on for? Will he ever break up with her? How can i finish it with him when i love him so much?
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female
reader, elitzabeth  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 I can tell that you are madly in love with this guy.. but you have to open your eyes ASAP. He've been using you; Yeah, it's true sex is great, but it is not exclusive; I bet he says the same thing to his girlfriend. Man do not break up, woman does. He is not going to let you go 'cause he is having a great time, wouldn't be nice to have to people wanting you? For a woman it makes no sense, but for man it makes all the sense. You have to let him go, he is not worth having around. He is not bringing anything positive onto your live, only negatives. You need someone who would respect you. It is not an easy thing to do; but you have to be strong and stand up to him.
I would also advice you to bring up your self steam 'cause you are letting this man to disrepect you and use you
Good luck...
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (1 October 2007):
Sounds like you have a good sharing arrangement. Why rock the boat unless you feel like swimming.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): It seems you've been trapped into a part-time relationship here.
It's the old story of telling the new girl that he's going to finish with the old girl, but in reality he's got no intention of breaking it off with either of you. Why would he? He's having his cake and eating it too.
I think you need to take the blindfold off and see him for what he really is, and I'm sure you don't need that spelling out to you any clearer than that.
Phil
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