A
female
age
26-29,
*ee255
writes:HiSo my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Last year he lost his job and things were not great the fact that he never used to save or invested.I was there for him and supported him in any way I could.Last week he called Me asking how people make money and get rich. So I told him no offense but he should not complain that much the fact that for four years he had an amazing job and if he had invested or started a side business life would be better. He got mad and said I'm ungrateful hence he can't date me because he feels I look down upon him. It feels so bad the fact I was always there and supported him. I begged him and cried so hard begging him to stay and that I don't actually look down upon him. But he just refused to hear me out and he said it was over,that he couldn't afford to be in a relationship at the moment so he wants to focus on his life. It really hurt guys.What will happen.will he come back to his senses
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (21 September 2018):
 Why would you want him back?
You gave him some constructive criticism, he insulted you then bolted. You should never have to cry over someone to take you back, he’s not worth the tears.
Good riddance, you can do better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2018): Losing your job can make you grief-stricken, irrational, broke, and insecure. I'll grant you that!
Especially if you feel your job is who you are. If you're full of pride, and have an inflated-ego. If you flaunted all you have, and suddenly it's gone! Then you're left crushed and ashamed.
He projected onto you exactly how he feels about himself. He doesn't respect himself, and feels dumb, and he feels guilty for being a spend-thrift. He asked for your opinion; then lashed-out at you for giving it to him. That was immature and irrational. He wants to punish somebody; so he goes for someone closest to him.
You'll do him a great favor to get out of his way! He's in his worst state-of-mind. That will make him destructive and reckless. He's looking for someone he thinks he can mow-down and feel better about himself. When he looks back; and this comes back at him, he will realize what a dick he was.
It's not you, it's him! You can't fix him. You supported him all you can. He's taking it badly, and stomping on the one person who still believes in him. This is where you bow-out gracefully; and let him stew in his own self-pity.
There is nothing you can do for him right-now; and it's stupid to willingly be his whipping-post. If he wants to behave like a baby-man, have absolutely nothing to do with him. Or, keep getting in his way; so he can knock the wind out of you. Your choice!
Your sympathy doesn't help right-now. He feels sorry enough for himself. Now he needs to be left alone to introspect; and realize pushing-away those who care about him is stupid, at the lowest time in his life. Not because you abandoned him; because he abused you when you tried to stand by him!
He has absolutely no reasonable excuse! He isn't the first or last person to lose their job! Solution? Get another one!
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A
female
reader, Maysaxx +, writes (21 September 2018):
To be homest with you what your saying he needs that time to get back on his feet your relationship would work ten times better with him knowing he sont have to feel down about it all and know he can look after you and be a man and do It
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 September 2018):
 When money is more important that having a relationship, it shows 2 things:
1, he doesn't care for you to the extend you care for him.
2, he can't handle criticism.
3, his loss.
You were there when he was unemployed sticking it out with him and helping as best you can, and now that he is doing better he can not longer be with you?
It's not that you think you are better than him, but you have seen him at his worst and he doesn't like that. It showed him (what he considers) being weak.
OP, you can do better than this immature brat.
I'd block him and move on. I know it hurt but it will hurt more of you stay in contact and keep begging. You don't have ANYTHING to apologize for. He asked for advice and you gave it, he just didn't like it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 September 2018):
 Focusing on building your life and financial stability is a good reason to postpone being in a relationship. That said, his decision came more from his ego than that valid reason.
I know it hurts, but he's really not right for you. You honestly don't want someone who won't save up and has no safety net in case things go wrong.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 September 2018):
 Guys like these are not worth your time. He cares more about his ego than his relationship. Even if he got a new job he would want a new girlfriend because he couldn't stand any girl to see him at his weak point. He was so set on giving up that he wouldn't hear you, or refused to see your point of view. I don't know how you were being ungrateful. Save your dignity and don't beg. I don't know the situation in Kenya and how easy it is to start another job. The only thing I know is that it is seriously developing technology. Maybe he should go into that. Realistically he may not be able to afford you dates for a long while. He is not breaking up out of the argument. In a way he is letting you go so you could find a better man but he was saying it in a defeatist, mean way to cover his sadness.
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