A
female
age
30-35,
*eo3
writes:me and my now long distance bf had just broken up a few weeks ago, when it first happened we'd decided to be friends. then later i told him how much i missed him (i broke up with him) and he agreed that he missed me too, and we both still loved each other. so we kind of started to work things out. the other night though he called me saying he was confused about all of this. i knew that his ex had been trying to get him back since we broke up so i asked him if she had anything to do with the confusion. he said shed been trying to get back with him but he only cared about her as a friend. i said that i didnt want to make things work with him if he still had feelings for her. but he swore he only loved me and wanted to make things work. so we got back together. im in CA and hes is MA but we said that in a year we would be back together for real (because of money issues). he said he could wait that long...i had this gut feeling tho that something was up with his ex, so i (please dont judge) got into his facebook (hed given me his pswd b4) and looked at his messages. it turns out hed been the one trying to get back with her since we broke up, telling her hes always loved her and blah blah blah and then after me and him got back together the other nite he sent her a message telling her he just wanted to be friends (not mentioning me) but she assumed it was because of me and said she was rele hurt because hed made her believe that they had a chance again. he hasnt heard from her since then but hes sent her messages telling her when he'll be back in MA (hes visitiing FL rt now) and how he doesnt have enough minutes on his fone so to be careful with texting him and all this stuff. i understand that he still wants to be her friend, but why is he trying so hard? i told him before we got back together that if he still had feelings for her then to go back to her because i wouldnt be with him if he did, and i still ask him why me over her and he keeps saying because he only wants me and sees me as his future wife and all this stuff. im so confused tho, part of me thinks that he still wants her, but if he does and shes close to him and he could have her right now, and he has decided to wait a year for me then he has to love me more right? i have no idea. ive dated a couple of guys before who claimed they "loved" me and i was the only one but then they all went back to their first loves in the end...im nobodys first love. im worried the same thing is going to happen again. does he rele just want to be friends with her? is he trying to play us both? just me? or does he mean what he says? i really hope he does, but i want to get some outside opinion to help out. thanks :)
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, got back together, his ex, long distance, money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (7 October 2009):
 He sounds very confused. But if you want him to be yours, then be the best girlfriend that you can possibly be to him, so that when he looks at you and her side by side in his head, he says "You, no comparison!" Or even if he does pick his ex in the end, at least then you'll know you did the best you could for him, and if he can't see that then he's a loser. If you two don't make it in the end, you will feel a lot better knowing you tried your best.
|
