A
female
age
41-50,
*urpleP
writes: Here I go:I meet him at work(we worked in different dep)We started talking and doing activities together.Sex came in the picture, everything was fine, we started going for lunch at work, seeing eachother after work for movies, drives out of the city, etc.So I started to have feelings for him, told him but he said he wasn't ready for commitment.Ok, I decided to stick around anyways having no one else to spend time with and honestly hoping he'd want more eventually.One day he admitted he had sex with my coworker...Ok, he didn't want anything serious, said he needed time to fool around.I stick around, after all, we get along pretty well so friends was ok.Weeks passed n I had a feeling something was up, asked him if he saw her again, yes.Ok... I wasn't able to be only a friend at this point so I told him "us" was over, whatever he had there.All this happened over 6months I'd say.So he told me he didn't want to loose me and decided to commit and make it official.I finally meet his mom, my coworker started to date one of his coworker, moved in with his family (basement app), then quit this job =seeing her was driving me nuts!!!Especially when she told me she was hoping he will get over her (what the!?!?).It's been a year and few months since we re official BUT, she just left the coworker saying he cheated and I heard she was on my man's case again, well aparently never stop trying to be around him since by calling his other coworker who's him best friend, flirting with the guy like crazy(he's married n she knows).My question...I trust him with alll the gurls BUT her...Would her cheat with her "again"?(I say "again" because when he was seeing her, we were not together)Thx a lot
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (26 March 2012):
I'm not sure if he would cheat with "her", but I am sure he would with "another woman".
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 March 2012):
WHY expose yourself to the angst of having to worry about this?????? This guy is probably LIKELY to re-fire the intimacy/s*x he had with this "other" girl.... and, regardless if he does or not, YOU will always have that to distress over in the back of your mind.....
IF there were fewer than 3 billion men in this world, I might not give you this advice.... BUT... there are.... Get yourself one of those others....
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A
female
reader, Aunt Becki +, writes (25 March 2012):
Dear PurpleP,Wow! What a story. You obviously have a lot of patience. It's great that you two are now exclusive, but trust is a fundamental part of a relationship, one might argue that it's equally as important as love.I recommend sitting down with your partner and being up front with him about your concerns. Be careful not to make him feel as though you are blaming him for what happened, as you pointed out, you two weren't together at the time. I'm sure that through a careful and open discussion, you can work through this together. Just remember, openness without blame, and don't allow any worries or paranoia to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.I hope things work out for you, keep your head up! Much love,Aunt Becki
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (25 March 2012):
You were together. And you are being played for a fool. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too! He wanted to play the field and didn't mind hurting you in the process. I doubt that has changed. Yes, he did make it clear you were not a couple, but he also knew that you had feelings for him, and he still went and hurt you. That is not the sign of someone who is your soulmate.
As for trusting him with everyone else... I would not even do that. He sounds like a bit of a jerk.
Sorry hun. I hope for your sake I am wrong. But I have a bad feeling about this one.
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