A
female
age
36-40,
*azel1
writes:iv been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now we have lived together for nearly 2 yrs, hes never been into porn so i thought hes never mentioned it or anything although weve watched it a few times. im okay with him watching porn but not when hes never told me hes got it, he goes away alot for work and when he comes back its everywhere on his fone and laptop and theres like 2000 pictures this hurt me and made me feel like i was worth nothing we argued about him not telling me about so he said he would lie about it again, he came back from being away i asked him if he had any and he said he had 3 vids on his fone and hid his memory card saying he had pics of him he wanted to print off for me but he had 20 vids and he hasnt given me any pictures am i over reacting on this? its causing me not to trust him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): my boyfreind works alot away - and i found porn on his phone and in his work bag. when iconfronted him he promised he would not hide things from me agin. since then he has lied several times to me - abouth the simplest of things. we also have been together abouth two years and lived together 18 months. i have found out today that he has lied to me again - about money/what he is spending whilst away. i am so confused. i forgive him but he keeps doing it. when is the point you should walk away?
A
female
reader, Hazel1 +, writes (17 September 2008):
Hazel1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for your replys i did make pictures for him and he liked them but still went and got others so i didnt win there! the pictures he had were never of him he just had lots of pictures of naked women some that girls had put on facebook and things which upset me but we ended up having the final discussion about it and i made myself clear about what i thought and now he is making an effort thankyou for your replys xxx
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A
female
reader, Hazel1 +, writes (4 September 2008):
Hazel1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionisd like to thank you for answering this question as i put it on here, he hasnt been taking photos of himself im talking about pictures of naked womern in very dirty positions and im alright with the fact he has porn my biggest issue is the lying not the porn im hurting because he wont tell me the truth and thats whats making me not trust him as much as i used to and i love him more than ever but it has made a change to him! i know he would never cheat on me but lies shouldnt be acceptable if ive told him i dont mind him having it as long as he tells me, im not possesive but u have to have a trust basis when your partners away alot he only sometimes goes for a week and the same day he goes he gets it. i know its normal to have porn and im 100% fine with it im not however fine with the lying and thats what i need help for because its racking my brains.
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A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon +, writes (4 September 2008):
 yes u are over reacting a bit. he isnt sleeping with them and as he is away for so long each time he needs some form of release lol. he is only a man after all. maybe u could take some pic's of urself and hide them in his travel bag next time he goes away and i recon that there will be no more pics of porn on his phone coz he will have u there instead? its completly natural for a man to look at other women and fantasise about them, just be glad that he isnt actually sleeping with another woman and ask him to be honest with u and that u dont mind but it just hurt your feelings. lets put it this way... what would u rather... knowing that he is doing it? or always wondering if he is doing it? i hope this helps
luv bluntasaspoon x
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