A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my ex has been controlling me, emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusing me for a very long time and never once did i stand up to him really. i now have took enough and i have humiliated him and disclosed something to some people who know him that he would never ever want people to know and i have also reported him to the police for some criminal activity that he has done and will get in trouble for. i feel pleased with myself for standing up to him now as he is just an evil bully, to women and children, do you think that now there is a chance he will be scared of me now and i have given him a big shock by giving him some of his own medicine? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Oh heck no. Abuse is control. As you stand up to him his level of control has to increase in order for him to maintain his power over you. I think you're methods were not thought out, because you forgot one important eliment. Protecting you...
I could see this not turning out the best. First, report the domestic violence he did to you. You should have a while before that time runs out. Second, have a protection order issued, so he can't have contact with you. It's not much, but it's a start. With his past behavior, retaliation will be excellerated beyond anything you've experienced from him so far.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 tread carefully mate. Good on you for finally standing up to him, and hopefully for your sake he gets put away.
But unless he has done something really bad chances are he won't be behind bars. You will have to watch out for him as he may turn very nasty.
I would stay well clear of him, if he threatens you go straight to the police and get a restraining order.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (15 January 2008):
 He won't be scared of you, he will probably be planning his revenge. Be very careful. Do not go bragging to anyone what you have done,you could set yourself up for a lot of trouble from him. Just be wary and leave things be.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (15 January 2008):
 A bully scared? Doubtful. You'll be lucky if he doesn't seek revenge. Men who abuse women physically may think nothing of killing a women that pisses them off or goes too far. Games like this are never healthy. So don't toot your horn just yet. You may be better off looking over your shoulder for awhile. When you are in an abusive or unhappy relationship, the best thing you can do for yourself is to simply get out and just rise above the other crap. Be the bigger person next time. It's safer.
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