A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year and I can’t get the fact that he has had sexual relations with other girls out of my head. It pops in when we are having sex, talking, pretty much whenever. The thing is, I have had twice as many sexual partners as he has. Plus when I lost my virginity I was in love with that boy and he pretty much will always have a place in my heart. I think that’s what gets to me the most. I don’t want another girl to have a special place in his heart. You kind of have to understand our story first to understand why I get so upset. I was a drug addict when I met him and I had already been to rehab twice so I wasn’t ready to quit. He fell for me because when he would hang out with me while I was sober, he said I was amazing so he put up with BS. He used to have to sleep with me to make sure I was still breathing pretty much every night of the week. I slowly tried to stop because I knew he cared about me and that I was hurting him and myself. Then one day I cheated on him. I thought he would leave but he came back and said he loved me and couldn’t do it. I’m not going to be cheesy and say that that was my moment of awakening. It took me another few months to completely drop everything and it took a few 911 calls and him waking up to me having seizures until I was finally me again. He stayed with me through all of this and I know he loves me. Everyone can see it and he pretty much saved my life. I love him more than anything else in the world. After all this I started to ask about a more detailed account of his sexual history. He had slept with 4 people not including me which added up to a total of 5 times. When he lost his virginity to her they were both drunk and weren’t dating. They started dating after and had sex one more time. Then he got really drunk one night at a party and slept with her best friend which I think ended their relationship. That makes me think that because he messed it up he could still have left over feelings for her. He had fingered, eaten out, and been blown by like 8 people too which makes me sick even thinking about it. I shouldn’t worry at all because I’ve slept with 8 people before him and I can’t even count how many times. There were only two of the eight that I had feelings for and ruined both due to my drug use so I did still Kind of care about them which lead to me cheating. My point is that even though I have been promiscuous in the past, I can’t get past his sexual history. I know he loves me. We live together and he does everything for me but I know there is still a person that has a little place in my heart and I’m afraid he’ll always love the girl he lost his virginity to. Plus I looked her up and she’s really pretty and ugh I’m just scared and exhausted because I always think about it.
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female
reader, Advice Giver +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Wow, you're really paranoid about this. He lost his virginity to her,because they were drunk, it was basically meaningless. If he stayed with you through all that, he def love you, and seh is the past now, just like those guys were your past. You need to chill and get over this before it ruins your relationship
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