A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Your Open Question:What should I do? am really hurting:( ? I loved my ex boyfriend so much, but he lied, cheated on me and dumped me.He says he felt out of love with me:( last time I saw him I was really vulnerable and slept with him but I told him it was a mistake and won't ever happen again and am moving on. He says he understands.I saw him back on a dating site where we met and he's looking for a relationship. Am really hurt. It's barely been a month. Should I go back on there too and find someone who will love me back? Or wait till am all better? I don't want to rush into anything at the moment cos am still in love with my ex.Please I need your advice.Thank you.x
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male
reader, honestman  +, writes (2 April 2011):
Listen,I have observed that many persons on online dating sites seemed like persons with lots of troubles. There are good men in there, but they are very scarce.Avoid entering those dating while being vulnerable. Also, if you get to meet somebody, don't get into bed with him right away. Just hang with him, get to know how he really is, and when you feel you are stepping on solid ground, go ahead, and have sex with him, or even get into a committed relationship.Good luck!
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 April 2011):
 SSSSSStttttopppppppp...delete that dating profile. You met a bad lad online, and there are plenty of them online. You cannot help what has happened with him but you can stop it occurring again with someone else. Dating websites are full of cheats, odd people, mentally unstable types and serial daters. Of course you get a few nice one's but it is like looking for needles in haystacks. If you are in anyway emotionally vulnerable then looking for love online is not the way forward. You are obviously an attractive young lady or else Mr Ex wouldn't have been racing to get you into bed. You have youth on your side, along with the new-found wisdom of knowing that not all prospective partners are what they seem. Let your ex date who-ever he wants and be thankful that he is out of your life - surely you deserve better? Stay single for a bit to sort out your emotions, and then when you feel stronger just go out and socialise with people your own age in the real world. Go clubbing, go travelling, do sports, join classes...whatever interests you...enjoy your young, hassle-free single life. Soon enough you will be middle-aged like me and wondering where all that time went. By getting out and about you open up the possibility of meeting a normal man in your community or through friend's. Clearly you can get burned meeting men the old-fashioned way too, but it is a more natural, normal way of starting relationships that has been working for thousands of years. Another man is not going to mend the heart-ache of what your ex has done. Giving yourself some space and time, along with a vow of never letting a man do anything bad to you in the future will be a good starting point to a happy life. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Thornbirds  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 He seems to be shopping around for a new relationship while you are nursing yourself from the hurt he caused you. Why jump into another relationship without first getting over the emotional pain he caused you? Be gentle with yourself. Take this experience as a lesson to be smarter the next time you enter into another relationship like this.Many times we get hurt because we innocently give our trust to people we don't know much, but seem to be nice anyway. Most of the time, people you meet on dating sites are not the same person as you perceive in reality. Be discreet and cautious in meeting strangers who take advantage of others in the name of love.. meeting people online is exciting and fun, but when it comes to serious involvement of the heart, guard yourself from being cheated. Use this experience as a reminder the next time you have rendezvous with a potential guy online..Cheers!
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 Just hang out with guys and meet them. Don't do anything you don't want to do or feel ready to do. You obviously want to move on and meet new people. Do it, just don't go farther than you would want to go.Does that make sense?
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