A
female
age
26-29,
*harlottemcdougallxx
writes:Well, i went out with this boy for nearly a year, we were perfect for each other and we both fell in love with each other, we broke up because he started drinking and i didnt like it, but i still loved him for ages after the break up. i tell myself im not in love with him but deep down i would do anything for us to get back together, and now my cusin who helped me through it is now going out with him. i told her never to speak to me again, as we were very close it would be so awkward.Am i the bad guy in all this, should i be happy for her? at the same time does she really care? i told her before she went out with him this would happen but its clear she has picked him, so should i even bother she clearly doesn't care as she knows how i feel about him, i don't want to loose her but what she has done to me, she should know better and im not letting her away with it.
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broke up, cousin, fell in love, get back together Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Your cousin is not a loyal and caring person or she would not do this to you. Family comes first, and since she knows you're upset with this situation that makes it much worse. He is probably doing this to get at you in some way at least in part, so he is using her to do this. She will be hurt most likely. I would keep my distance from the whole situation if I were you.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 April 2011):
 The relationship between you and your ex wasn't working out and you separated. Your cousin has decided to date him while he is single. If he is trouble, then he will bring her trouble and she will learn a lesson. You may feel jealous but you have to accept that you and he didn't work. The chances are that it will fall apart with the cousin too. Don't throw away an otherwise good relationship as it will cause tension in your respective relatives. I am not saying you have to be best-friends with her in the future, but you should try to keep things civilised for the sake of the family. Hopefully she will learn to put family over boyfriends in future. However, she really hasn't done anything so hideous to you - he wasn't your boyfriend when she started dating him. You just feel envy about it. The mature thing to do is accept your disappointment and support your cousin when this romance goes horribly wrong (chances are it will).
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 your cousin is not on your 'team' so to speak. One has to question how well she 'helped' you to deal with him, if she has now managed to interest him? She would have known a lot about him, before she even started in a relationship with him.
You must feel very hurt with the two of them.
Perhaps you need a nicer friend than your cousin has proved to be?
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (2 April 2011):
 People who disown people for going out with someone that WAS going out with someone that did nothing harmful to someone else are in the wrong. You broke up because your bf was a drinker. That was a smart decision. However, he did nothing to you. He did not beat you or be mean to you. He chose the drink, so be it. It is good that he was up front and honest about it.Now, your cousin is interested in him, because she is young and stupid. Ok, great. Maybe he doesn't drink but every now and again, and is responsible with his drinking. If he is, then you don't want the average person. However let your cousin be with who she wants to be with. I understand that it was an ex etc., but you can't keep everyone you know away from every ex you are with. It is no different from when a guy starts yelling at a guy for kissing his sister or ex girlfriend. He does not own his sister and you don't own your ex.You are not over him. If you were, you would not care. This question shows that you need to get over him, not that your cousin should not date him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): You are REALLY young! Good for you that you broke up with him when he started drinking.I would say stay away from him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Personally I wouldnt have nothing to do with a family member or friend if they did that to me.
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