A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am married to a woman and I found Jesus Christ and now all I want to do is to follow his commands.I tried to break up with my wife but she refuses to leave and she gets very forceful and violent when I tell her that I want us to break up so I can follow God. We also have been having other problems as well on top of that and I just feel so stuck. I have kids who absolutely adore her as well but I can't keep living this way. I am not happy. Please help me find a way to break up with her because I have made up my mind and she just won't let go.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2021): @WiseOwlE it's because we are 2 women why I am feeling guilty in this. She was the one who led me to Jesus and I know she really does love me and that is why she acts out when I want to leave. She is not an alcoholic and she does not have mental illness or anything like that and her and my kids are very close as well.I don't want to be of the world anymore, the Lord has done so much in my life and I just want to show him my appreciation by letting go of this lifestyle that I know the Lord does not want for me. I feel like every time I try to leave or I try to break up with her there is something blocking it from happening
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 May 2021):
 If the kids are YOURS (and not hers) I think the ONLY right thing to do is LEAVE with the kids.
If she is abusive and violent then you and kids shouldn't stick around, vows or not. No kids deserve to grow up with abuse. They can't just leave, YOU can.
Even if the means you need to take yourself and the kids to a homeless shelter (find one for parents with kids) OR go through your church and see if anyone can help you out.
Many churches have outreach programs that can help people who are in your situation.
I don't agree with WiseOwlE who tells you that marriages shouldn't be broken. If there is abuse and violence the marriage should DEFINITELY be broken. Especially when there are kids.
Don't wait for God to tell you it's OK to leave.
And wanting to follow your religious beliefs should not override your DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to keeping your kids safe.
Sorry WiseOwlE, abuse, and domestic violence shouldn't be prayed on. It should be abhored and shunned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2021): You said she gets forceful and violent when you say you want to break-up, and you said you have "other problems." People behave badly when they're scared, angry, or desperate. If you're planning to take full-custody of your children for example.
All posts are anonymous; so you can offer more details and be more forthcoming.
Is she an alcoholic or a drug-addict? You say you have kids. Are they by a previous marriage or relationship, or is she their biological mother? Is she diagnosed with mental-illness?
More details get better answers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2021): Explain why you have to leave your wife to follow Christ?
"9 Therefore, what God has united and joined together, man must not separate [by divorce].” Mark 10:9 (Amplified Version)
I will use the "amplified versions" when I quote scripture in my posted response. I will not speak from my own mind, and I will provide the biblical references to follow-up on.
Has she refused to accept Christ as her Savior? Does she practice witchcraft or divination? Is she an atheist? Has she committed adultery? Is she Islamic or Buddhist?
Are you joining a cult, becoming a missionary, or a religious group that requires you to separate from your wife and family?
Is there anywhere in the holy scriptures of the Bible that require you to leave your wife to follow Jesus? As far as I know, He only asks us to leave behind our sins and worldly ways. He does ask us to separate from unbelievers, but your spouse is entirely different.
As of this writing, Jesus Christ still sits on the throne at the righthand of the Almighty God. He is Emmanuel, God with us; but He isn't walking around on earth with His disciples gathering new followers. His second-coming is near, by all the signs we can see. Christians will know what I mean.
Please give us a clearer understanding of why you need to leave her to follow Christ? Can you direct me to a Bible verse (or some verses) that suggests you have to divorce your wife to follow Jesus? Jesus is pro-life, pro-marriage, and pro-family. Help us to understand where this is going, my friend and fellow Christian?
Has your pastor or minister counseled you and your wife to see if whatever marital issues you have can be reconciled? Have you prayed to determine if leaving your wife is the will of God?
Proverbs 5-6: (Amplified Version)
"5 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding."
"6 In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]."
Of course, your wife must make a personal decision to come to Christ. If she is chosen by our Lord, that wouldn't be a problem; because the Holy Spirit would move and convict her to seek the face of God.
Sir, you are apparently a novice in your faith and following. I think you need to seek more understanding through a pastor, priest, or a bishop who has been ministering for many years. If some cult requires you to leave your loved-ones; I think you should seek answers through prayer and meditation to determine what God wants you to do. He has plans for you; but it's best to be sure you don't make unwise decisions contrary to the word of the Lord.
I caution you to also know from whom you're receiving your gospel ministry; and pray that God will reveal the truth to you, to be sure you are not following false doctrine.
Matthew 7: 15-20 (Amplified Version)
"15 “Beware of the false prophets, [teachers] who come to you dressed as sheep [appearing gentle and innocent], but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them [that is, by their contrived doctrine and self-focus]. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore, by their fruit you will recognize them [as false prophets]."
Ever so often, people newly finding the Lord get very zealous and excited about their new faith. You have to be careful of whom you're listening to, and if what is said can be found in the Bible. It isn't truth if you can't; it's contrived within the minds of people. Which is why so many people who thought they've found Christ become disillusion and fall-away. No fault of our Lord's; but the fault of darkness that has mislead them.
I will pray for your guidance and understanding. If leaving your wife is necessary in order to follow Jesus; He will make that path open to you, no matter what she does. God removes those people from our lives who deter us from our deliverance and faith in Jesus. Without more information; it's hard to tell what you're doing, and why. I would seriously caution you. If you simply want a divorce, it would be blasphemous to use Jesus as your phony excuse to breakup your family. If He truly is whom you're seeking; somehow you'd try to fix your marriage, instead of ending it.
Pray first, then act. Wait on the Lord. If it's His will, nothing will stop you, or get in your way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2021): Lots of people who are religious are happily married to non religious partners. Please don't tell me your new found religious beliefs are the reason for this.Why are you coming here asking for advice when it is as obvious as the nose on your face that it is up to you to walk out and find somewhere else to live if it is you that wants the marriage to end. Nobody here can do anything about that.IF you really have found God you would be nice about it to your wife, she did not ask for this hassle or these problems. Part of being religious and a christian is being fair and nice to others and treating them with respect.If you really have found God you would be able to go to your minister and ask for support there. So why come to a lot of people who are probably not at all religious instead?What you say here does not add up, it is not quite genuine and honest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2021): Wow.Another fake christian.God does not condone divorce.You say you found God but no sorry you did not.Look inside yourself and see if you are using god as a means to escape your marriage.That is not cool.You have kids.Would God want you to abandon your kids in his name?Not cool.Please do not use God like that.Go to marriage consuling.Work on your marriage....that is what God wants.You want to follow him but only chose the parts of the bible that you want to believe in.God says no divorce.Are you really following him or using him to escape your responsibility of being a husband and a father??Think about that you follow God or you do not...well which is it????Tell us.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (19 May 2021):
You need to move out as soon as you can and start proceedings to end the marriage – get advice for your legal jurisdiction. It sounds like she is not going to consent to this so you’ll have to figure out what the implications of that are for ending things, but if there’s violence it’s important to separate now as emotions are bound to be running high.
No matter how important it is to you to follow your beliefs, both she and your kids are caught up in this. It’s important to recognise and acknowledge the hurt she must be feeling, and consider whether it’s possible to allow her to continue to have some kind of relationship with your kids. They will have formed bonds together in their own right and unless it’s unsafe, you probably need to think about how to manage that. But all this will be easier when you can put some space between you and let things simmer down.
I wish you all the very best.
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