A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife was once rape or just a little insertion of penis when she was in 1 standard with a boy who is 5 yrs senior to her and she is now 20 yrs old. I would like to know whether this incident would effect her reproductive system in future or not. What should i do it hurts me to learned this, should i leave her or just 4give her for that? Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 What has your wife got to apologise for? Being raped was not her fault. She is a victim of childhood sexual abuse and should be encouraged to see a counsellor if she is still traumatised by this matter. Although acts on rape do not necessarily cause injury unless there was additional physical violence of an intimate nature; there is the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases which can cause infertility. I recommend all women and men to get a pre-conception check-up at the doctor's to make sure there are no medical problems that could interfere with conception and pregnancy. I also think you, as her partner, should read some rape-survivor books to gather a more sympathetic understanding of your wife's need for support.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 You don't have anything to forgive here. You said it yourself: she was raped. It was not her fault.
I don't think her reproductive system will be affected. Her psyche, however, most likely was. She does not need to be blamed for rape.
As to whether you should leave her, maybe that would be best. It seems you cannot handle the fact. I am afraid that, if you stay with her, most likely you will hurt her, and in the end you will leave her anyways.
I think you need some thinking to do. I see your concerns at this time are all about you. "Will her reproductive system be affected?" sounds like "But she will still be able to mother my children, right?" And then, I am concerned about why her rape hurts you. Does it hurt because of the pain she is enduring, or because someone took away something that was "yours"?
I believe that she is the one you should be worrying about at the moment.
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