A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 12 years has no sex drive. She has a 16 year old from another marriage and we have an 11 yo son. She never initiates and frequently turns down my advances. Since then I have grown angry with her which she has interpreted as me not giving a shit about her. I've asked her why I can't at least borrow her hand and she said "she's no good at it." She said all I care about is sex. But for me, I would be happy with once a week rather than once every two months. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): You have to explain its not the sex you want, but the sexual experience with her in the bed with you!
She must understand that men like to express closeness through sex, as well as through affection.
I really recommend reading this book called, "Mating in Captivity".
It's all about sexless marriages,and how to rekindle the flame, from both points of view..
Also how to relearn how to seduce a woman....break the barriers
A
female
reader, daaphne  +, writes (18 June 2008):
You have to explain its not the sex you want, but the sexual experience with her in the bed with you!
She must understand that men like to express closeness through sex, as well as through affection.
I really recommend reading this book called, "Mating in Captivity".
It's all about sexless marriages,and how to rekindle the flame, from both points of view..
Also how to relearn how to seduce a woman....break the barriers
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): pack your bag and carry your ass. it ain't gonna get any better. buck up. you got screwed. pay your child support and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I think the hard truth is that women are the one's pleased most of the time, and men hardly at all get pleased when it comes to sex. The old saying: women just lay there, don't take up the initiative to start it ... always waiting for the men to initiate, and when they've had a bad day, trash their man when he does initiatiate. You'd think marrying them would give them some clue that we wanted something else besides sex, and that we want sex for the pleasure, and because they are involved in the act that they too would get pleasure from it, but instead, they keep silent and then take it out on their man, still being silent when they do so. Men and women need to better communicate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Try celibacy for 6 months, and stop thinking about it. She likes the fact your gagging for it. She has the CONTROL over you. Look for a hobby or something to really focus on.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Alot of women feel like men only want sex for them self not to please us as well my hubby always pleases me before himself and sometimes even pleases me in other ways and tells me he does not want me to do anything for him the reason he does this is because he wants me to know that sex is for us not just him of course i never let him walk away without doing a little something for him too. so what im trying to say is you need to make her feel sexy and loved and that you dont want anything for you, you just want to please her lots of 4play (kissing on the neck helps) dont grab at her be gentle when we are grabbed at it makes us feel like we are just a piece of meat!! im sure after you let her know that its for the both of you and not just you she will come to the party
good luck and give us and update on how things go
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (17 March 2008):
 If she doesn’t want to have sex as much as you there are only two solutions....get another woman on the side or divorce. You can’t force her that’s for sure. She doesn’t seem to even want to see your side but get's angry at you. That tells me even therapy is out of the question...of course you could ask, but my prediction is she will just get angry thinking you are trying to win a fight instead of repairing the marriage. I say all this not just as guess-work but from pure experience on my part. I went through the same shit with my wife before we divorced. My ex-wife did not try to fix our relationship but got angry like your wife is doing. There is no way to get through a stubborn person like that except through extremes.
Yes, I think its time to think about divorce. You don’t deserve to be with a woman who treats you like trash for trying to intimate with her. I am not saying she has any obligation to make love to you...a person always chooses their own path...but by choosing to turn you down she is doing her part to make you unhappy which is the ultimate breakdown of a marriage. Just as is it her choice to reject you, you can also choose to say no more.
When you are married your spouse's happiness comes first. It may be old-fashioned of me but I really believe that. My ex-wife didn't recognize that while scorning me in her own way. But now I gain everything from the divorce...I am free to find a more suitable women to compliment my life and she can still go on her own doomed path.
Your wife's destructive behavior will take her on that sane road...You should probably help her out and get her a divorce. Do yourself some good and get her out of your life.
Courage up and do the right thing for your sanity.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Okay, here's the thing, she feels like you don't give a shit about her, because you get angry at her for not doing what you want her to do. It's either your way or the highway. It almost seems as if you are acting like a child.
Maybe she just doesn't want to feel used.
Problem is is that, when you get angry at her, this only tells her that you are in fact using her. "Give me sex or I'll get angry at you."
I say don't get angry at her, and just be grateful for what you get. Stop pressuring her.
But here's the other side to my advice: I don't believe she is being truthful when she just says that she is "No good at it." Offer to teach her, then see what she says.
I think there's another reason that she's not letting on to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Almost the same problem I'm having. I just don't bother anymore. If I/we men could read minds, we could fix it.
Sorry buddy, if someone here gives good advice, I will sure be listening too.
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