A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for a while now,and i always assumed things were great between us.just recently he has become very distant,when we go out he will stand away from me or if i put my arms around him he just keeps his in his pockets he wont even kiss me in public anymore,his eyes seem to look everywhere exept at me its like we are mates out on the pull,hes also become very selfish in the bedroom wont even hug me whilst in bed yet wants me to pleasure him constantly,he talks of starting a family and marriage yet he wont share his love,feelings or anything with me what am i to do as i am totaly lost,please help as i love him Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 -in the early stages of a relationship people act out of character to strengthen the links between each other due to hormones and excitement from the novelty factor. when this stage has calmed down you can see how people are naturally.
-he might be training you like a pet. when you get a new puppy you love it loads, but as time goes on if you still pet it every five seconds it thinks that this is the baseline for the relationship and that results in a moody dog who always wants affection. There must be balance as sometimes affection addiction can result in the addict devaluing the affective gesture and its net worth goes down which results in unecessary petting that iritates the petter.
-love does not mean constant embraces and touching. some peole find this behaviour excessive and uncomfortable, it can be tolerated short term but not in the long run.
-if he is sexually selfish put your foot down. if he wont nibble your lettuce now you can bet things will only slide after marriage. dont pleasure him without getting yours and back off. women often restrict sex to control a man...
-also get a life outside this relationship. your deep neediness screams that you have too little else going on for you in your life. develop and strengthen your friendships and get a hobby (that is not tv)
-remember, everyone is different, stop judging people by your own standards and finally if things dont make you happy you can always walk away and find a stiuation that will satisfy you
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Sounds like he is cheating. He acts distant from you in public, because he doesn't want his other woman to see yall together.
You have my condolences.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Either you triggered something, or someone else has.
Sounds like he has had his feelings hurt. But what you've described, this thought I can not be sure on. Any idea when it began? Have you insulted him? Have you snapped at him? When someone is distant, it usually is because someone has done something to hurt his feelings.
Just a thought based on what I read.
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