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My wife does nothing but lie to me

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2004) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2012)
A , anonymous writes:

my wife does nothing but lie to me. she lies about her kid. he will do something bad, and she will lie about it to protect him from me. meaning that she would rather lie to me, her husband, than have her kid put in the corner, or out in time out. it is really ridiculious. and she will lie about the stupidest stuff. and the bad part , is that we just had a beautiful little baby girl that i love more than life itself. and i dnt want to leave her. but i hate my wife, and im beginning to dislike her kid, because he knows that momma will lie for him, so he takes advantage of it. i need help on what to do

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012):

After being married to a passive aggressive liar for over 19 years, I am calling it quits. Her lies always undermine my efforts. Example, I ask her to do something, she doesn't do it and she says "I forgot." I counted on her to do it and made a promise to others based on her promise and I am the one who looks like a chump. She does this quite frequently and gets away with it because she is so "sweet" everybody believes her story. I tell you it started hurting my self esteem. It got to a point where she was deliberately not doing what I asked her to do even though I asked politely.

I say this - If she lies to you and won't admit the truth, that's disrespect. If you say to her, "hey, that really hurts my feelings when you lie to me" and she still does it, that's abuse.

I tried every way to get her to stop, but a pathological liar cannot stop themselves. Believe me, I know. You deserve to be happy; get out and you will feel better in the long run and be a better father.

BTW, as they get older, it gets worse.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

it is more important for you to stay for your kid sake you are only moral figure in their life right now, just hang in there and talk to them as much as possible.Pray about it and as god to help then and her, but leaving your family is the worst thing you can do.leave her in god hands and believe he will take care of them and you.

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A male reader, ordocaelum United States +, writes (18 August 2010):

I also have experienced a troubled relationship because of lying and mistrust. I am still dealing with it. The only piece of advice I would give is, Leave now. Don't sacrifice anything for someone who doesn't really love you. And that is the truth about it. You can have as many heart to hearts as you want and she or he can tell you whatever you want to hear. Once you see a pattern CUT IT OFF. or you will die unhappy or end up going insane and doing something you will regret. At this point there is no need to see a relationship counselor they will only tell you misconstrues that make you believe this problem can be fixed. Once someone lies to you, It builds and builds until a massive breakdown. You and your children will be better off not dealing with this persons issues. NO matter how much love you think you have or she/he has for you or them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

I don't think there is any good reason to lie, we teach it to our children(easter bunny, elves, magical red tight wearing fatmen who can service 6 billion people at midnight. My daughter now expects santa and the toothfairy to write her back, leaving them a list of questions probably a natural defense to bullsh@t. It all becomes clear when your wife lies to you, making it impossible to trust her again. I am a man and when your told that her staying at another mans house 5 times is plutonic (tough to believe)My biggest fear is my daughter will pick up these traits. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW MUCH GOOD YOU DO OVER YEARS OF HARDWORK, PARENTING ECT... ONE LIE WILL ECLIPSE ALL OF IT!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007):

I met my wife four years ago. We were on and off for for three years due to lies, inconsistencies, mis-truths, forgotten elements, oversights (I think I covered it. Yes I have learned a new way to speak because of this experience). The lies have ranged from inconsequential "I didnt take the last cookie" right up to the big ones. I thought we had that behind us and that she had finally grown up, until a few days ago. She went to a wedding reception and I asked her if she danced at it. She said No, not realizing days later her aunt would forward 'us' a picture of her on the dance floor. Oops busted again. It was no issue that she danced, in fact all but two of the lies have been over absolutely nothing. The hard part is that she blames the apperant discrepancy on short term memory issues from a car wreck. She just forgets details that should be remembered. Now I have to wonder, is the car wreck head injury real or an oversight lmao.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006):

It sounds as if you are willing to mortage your own happiness so you can be with your daughter. That's the question, isn't it? Am I willing to sacrifice my own happiness to be an active live-in father to my daughter? Only you can answer that question, my friend. Personally, if I "hated my wife" as you do, I would divorce and take my chances with joint custody and visitation. There's more than one way to be a good father.

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A reader, enameleraser, writes (4 January 2005):

If your wife lies to you about her kid's actions, I can garuantee that she is lying about her own as well. The untrusting feeling would drive me crazy. OK, I won't lie, is driving me crazy in my similar situation with my pregnant girlfriend.

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