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anonymous
writes: I split up with my girlfriend of four years (on and off) at Easter this year. We are both at university, her at Birmingham and me in Southampton, and both in our final year of study. We always had an amazing connection together, and were so tuned into eachother that it often felt she knew me better than i knew myself!! The distance and complications of university life in two different cities was always a strain, and caused many arguments, but i always felt we would pull through. At Easter i made a huge mistake and after a series of arguments, i told her that as much as i loved her and wanted to be with her, the distance and arguments that arose because of how different our lives were at the time, socially and financially and also the differences in workload at the time, were too much for me. I knew at the time that it was not something i wanted to do, but the arguments were simply too much for me to deal with. Since then i find myself thinking about her constantly, and regret splitting up with her everyday. I feel so frustrated at times! We reconcilled for a short time over the start of the summer, and seemed to ease back into eachothers company seamlessly, but many of the arguments were still unresolved from before, and it wasn't long before we had agreed to separate again. We stay in touch with eachother, occaisionally on the phone or through MSN Messenger, but it often feels that i've lost a huge part of me, as if there is a part of me that i no longer talk to. I'm a relatively good looking man (without sounding too modest) and i often talk to women, but never want to take it into the bedroom with them.
I know that if my old partner and I were to reconcile again at university it would probably not last very long before the arguments about 'not speaking enough' or 'not seeing eachother enough' arose again. In May 2005 we will both have graduated, only 6 months away.
When we were together everything had extra meaning, my life was generally happier with a clear direction. I, as cliche as it sounds, imagined her as the mother of my children, we were so perfect together. As i'd already said, i don't think being together whilst at university will succeed, but in 6 months we will have graduated and many of the problems associated with being in a long distance relationship will be eliminated, but will this be too late? I've told her how much i still love her, but also that i don't think we could be together at the moment but possibly in the near future. She hasn't been as obvious about her feelings, and i can't help but think that i am missing out on opportunities to meet great women and have great relationships because i never take it those few steps further.
I love her with all my heart and soul, but that isn't enough if she doesn't love me anymore or if she doesn't have faith in our relationship anymore! Do you think i should hold on and see what happens? Should i try and forget about getting back with her altogether?
Please Help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Ahh so strange.
Me and my girlfriend of 5 years broke up this Easter because of distance issues.
She has changed a bit being in College, she's just so caught up with everything going on. I wish I could move on, but no matter how hard I try to look forward to something new nothing seems to have a lot of meaning or reason to it. She has a year and a half to go, and I want to get back together. I know it won't work if we get back together while she's in school, but I don't want to wait a year and a half to find out it's not meant to be.
Relationships are harsh.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): I've been through a similar experience myself, and though I know exactly how hard it is to keep your morale high, I honestly don't think you should give up - could you anyway!?My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. We've had some very difficult challenges to overcome and at one point, we separated for an entire year. However, I never stopped loving him, and deep down, he never stopped loving me either. We've been back together now for almost a year, and though it seemed like we'd never be able to repair our relationship, we're better than ever. Never give up on someone you love. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2005): im going through sorta the same situation.My GF and I went on break and were still on break But just remember the glass is half full not half empty. Remember if you put the relationship in GODS hands it will turn out for the bestweather your with her or not in the end But pray and hope for the best. Good Luck!!!
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A reader, Ashley, writes (2 January 2005): i think you should go for it. it sounds like there's still someting there and you shouldn't let her go until you know that you to don't belong together. if its not meant to last you'll find out but don't give up. i hope i helped you!
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