A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently married and just had a son 2 weeks ago. My wife has told me about two months before the baby was born that she feels unhappy. She claims that I do not give her enough attention. I feel like I spend lots of time talking, and being affectionate towards her, but she doesn't seem to want anything but sexual attention because If I don't give her sex that day she gets worse. Whats worse is that she doesn't seem to be upset with me until it is past midnight, and often times keeps me up well past 4am just arguing with me and won't stop keeping me up until I apologize, have sex with her, and then cuddle her for 20 minutes without falling asleep. I have a morning job! She claims that she gets the same amount of sleep that I do, but there are many many times where I go to work and she sleeps in another 2 hours while I'm gone! She doesn't seem to count that though and always has an excuse as to why that extra sleep wasn't good or so on. Often times I am so tired I am literally passing out while she is talking to me, I am re-awakened to her threatening to cut herself or to overdose on pain medication. Now she is saying we have nothing left, and that she is sure the marriage is over because she doesn't think she will ever be happy with me again. I want to go to marriage counseling to save our relationship, but every time I mention counseling she vehemently opposes it. I just don't know what to do anymore and I want the best for my son. I feel so bad for him not being able to grow up in a healthy family atmosphere. I feel so lost right now. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): Sorry but it sounds like a bad situatiio for you both...Probably post natal trauma or such but definately you guys need some intervention. Is there a reason she may be feeling bad about you lack of sexual desire (ie her perception that you do not desire her) Have you used porn in the marriage or something? Even if she said she was ok about porn having a baby can put a whole different perspective on it for a woman especially if she has experienced life changing effects on her body? I dont know maybe this has nothing to do with it, but its worth considering.
It is very early yet to even be worrying about sex with a 2 week old she is not physically or emotionally ready (was this prior to bub?
I really hope you guys can get some help before the marriage suffers more?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): Your wife needs medical attention as soon as you can get her to the doctor. She is suffering from post partum depression, which is more common after birth than we often realize....she needs some medication to stabilize her moods....One thing you can do is get her to go to her regular doctor for a check up, take the doctor aside and tell him your concerns exactly as you have written here.
Her doctor will have seen this before and know what to do, but don't delay, or this could get progressively worse, where she might even threaten to harm the baby as well as herself.
I am very sorry that you are going through this, it sounds like a little bit of hell, but know that there is effective treatment out there, but you need to go to a professional doctor to get the help and answers you need. My prayers are with you.
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