A
male
age
51-59,
*avageHunter832
writes:I have had a fantasy of wanting to watch my wife have Sex with another guy for over 13 years. My wife knows this and has just recently said Ok to doing so. Why is this such a huge turn on for me if watching her doing something she loves to do... Having Sex??
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 August 2021):
 Tell your wife this was all just a fantasy and that, when push came to shove, you love her too much to want her to be intimate with another guy - which is, hopefully, true.
Work on ways to spice up your love life without involving third parties. You can still have your fantasies. Perhaps roll play where you pretend to be a stranger seducing her?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2021): Something in the back of your mind made you seek opinions first; but maybe now you value your wife more than you did before. Love is hard to come-by and to keep these days. Cherish it when you have it, dear sir!
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A
male
reader, SavageHunter832 +, writes (4 August 2021):
SavageHunter832 is verified as being by the original poster of the question The response I got are all very good. That being the situation, I've decided not to go through with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2021): WARNING!!!
I surely hope your marriage is rock solid. If she has someone already picked-out...oh-oh!!!
You can push and pressure a person until they break.
It's never a good idea to arbitrarily test your emotional-connection with someone as close as your spouse. Your imagination can go to great depths and wild places. Creating all sorts of outrageous fantasies.
Married-people who try to bring sexual-fantasies to life involving outsiders usually have a tragic ending. Either she'll like the other guy too much, or you'll start feeling insecure about your own sexual-performance. Men are naturally competitive and territorial; so you had better have all your natural primal-instincts in-check. They come-out involuntarily, or as a reflex; that's why they're referred to as natural-instinct!
Love can happen spontaneously, and you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube! She has feelings.
This could also be your final-wish she has granted; before leaving you for good. You can't always figure-out what's going-on in a woman's mind!
They say, "careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it!" There ain't always the kind of "happy-ending" you're hoping for!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2021): The MINUTE you would have asked me this LUDICROUS request as YOUR WIFE was the MINUTE I would have FILED FOR DIVORCE! UNBELIEVABLE! Fantasies are better left in your imagination!!!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 August 2021):
Just because your wife loves having sex with you doesn't mean she wants to be used as a sex toy by some other guy for your titillation.
If she has refused to do this for 13 years, despite allegedly loving sex, I would strongly suspect it is because she doesn't WANT to do it. Have you worn her down with constant requests? Have you coerced her into doing it with veiled insinuations that, if she loved you, she would do this for you? I wonder, what was the proverbial final straw which broke the camel's back? Only you two know the answer to that.
In your fantasy, you have complete control. Once you involve a 3rd party in your sex life, you lose ALL control. If your wife is doing this against her better judgement, she will feel dirty and used afterwards and will grow to hate you for pushing her into something she has resisted for 13 years. On the other hand, maybe she is bored of you after 13 years and will enjoy some "fresh meat" a lot more than the husband for whom she is not good enough without being shagged by another bloke for his amusement.
Women, in general, find it much more difficult than men to separate their emotions from their sexual feelings. Once she starts having sex with this guy, chances are she will start to have feelings for him, especially if he is a beter lover than you. Where will that leave you? Out in the cold, on your own, while she is happily enjoying a fresh and satisfying sex life, with someone for whom he is hopefully good enough.
You can do anything you like in life but, remember, there is always a price to pay. Think long and hard about whether this will be worth the price it may cost you. Shame that you don't have enough imagination to spice up your sex life without having to involve someone else.
Go ahead with it at your peril. We'll probably he hearing from you again afterwards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2021): Wife finally agreed to do what you want. And as she did it the tiny bit of love she had for you disappeared because she saw how manipulative, controlling, demanding, selfish, egotistical, arrogant and cold you are. A nice man who loves his husband does not ask her to do things that make her feel repulsed, sick, used, a convenience or a sex toy. He would be wanting to protect her from men who are that nasty. If your wife wanted to put it about she would be better off getting rid of you altogether and charging other men for sex. But she seems to be as daft as you. I promise you it will not be long before she hates you totally if she does not already.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2021):
 No one here can tell you WHY you feel this way.
But we CAN tell you what quite often happens when people "play out" this fantasy.
This is probably going to break your marriage.
This is probably going to make your wife resent you. I mean she is NOT doing this because SHE wants to. After all, she resisted for 13 years. BECAUSE she didn't WANT to do it. She is doing this to PLEASE you and in hopes, you will STOP asking. So don't be surprised if she starts to resent you after.
Fantasy is a MADE up in your head thing. In fantasy, you are totally in control. Not so in "real life".
I feel bad for your wife that you have SO little respect for her that you have been pushing for this for 13 years. Wow. You aren't doing this for her. You are a selfish asshole who wants your wife as a PROP in your own little porno. Disgusting. Your dick getting hard is more important than HOW your wife feels.
Just saying this is not going to end how you think it's going to end.
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A
male
reader, SavageHunter832 +, writes (3 August 2021):
SavageHunter832 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVery good points indeed. Something to think about for sure.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (3 August 2021):
 There are so many posts that come on to DC regarding threesomes, or allowing a partner to indulge in sexual activities while the other watches, and i have yet to find one with a positive outcome.
You made vows to your wife when you got married, and you have just asked her to have sex with another person. I'm suprised that she agreed to be honest.
I this is a fantasy that should be kept within the confines of ones own mind. I feel that if this fantasy is brought into fruition it can and will cause complications further down the line.
Your wife could take part in this fantasy and realise that she is enjoying sex with someone else better than she is enjoying it with you. Or even worse develop feelings for someone else and then start seeing them behind your back, then eventually leave you for them.
If you love your wife, and value your marriage i would refrain from taking part in this fantasy.
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