A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this short.I was seeing a woman from work for about 8 or 9 months. Initially she was with someone else and we were just friends. Her relationship with this other person was pretty unhealthy (sexual assault and aggression towards her kids). We were together as a couple for 3 months and talked about moving in together and having kids. She suddenly ended it a couple of months ago and went back to her ex. She cut off all contact with me and changed her mobile number. He found out that we'd been involved while they were together and threw her out. They made up but he threw her out again. Once they'd split up, I told her I wanted to be her friend and be there for her, but that we couldn't go back to how we had been. She seemed fine with that and told me that she'd give me her new number but never did. She stopped talking to me at work and now keeps her distance. I know that since she split with me she's been involved with several different men and has tried to get back with her ex.When I try to talk to her, she tells me we're fine and she doesn't have a problem with me. I wrote her a letter a couple of weeks ago, saying that she has to let me know if she wants to be friends or cut all ties. I never had a response. My friends think I'm crazy for wanting anything to do with her.The problem is that I still care for her and worry when I see how her life is going. I just wish she'd let me know where I stand. If nothing else it makes working around her difficult to say the least.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 This is why you never, ever date/hook-up with a co-worker if things go sour it makes an awkward work environment. It sounds like she's that type of woman who can't stand to be alone and goes back to the one that hurts her. Take it as you were there, you were in the now for her..Then tossed aside when her ex would take her back. She goes as far to change her number. Again, her ex tosses her out and you're available for her once again..notices you get too attached for her likings that's it no more contact for you. It's on to finding new men to occupy her time till her ex will have her back again. Unfortunately, you're nothing to her.
Just be glad you're not caught in her vicious cycle anymore. Her life is going nowhere fast.
A
female
reader, dijoyful +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Im sorry to be blunt but i think she has made it perfectly clear where you stand, you were there when she first needed you, now shes made her choices. Don't spend anymore of your time worrying about her, some people just arent ready to be helped. Spend your time and energy on people who are going to enhance you as a person and appriciate the kind caring person that you obviously are.
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