A
female
age
36-40,
in love and confused
writes:I think the title of the article leaves alot to think about. As a women in this so called 21st century, i feel that when it comes down to men, there are alot of questions asked , most of them starting with why? It happens all the time, on a lunch with friends from work you may find someone asking 'why does he do that' having a quiet drink with your best friend 'why does he say things to hurt me'. All these question could easily be answered if our men would open up to us sometimes, so that when me need some reasurance within our relationships we would not need to ask strangers for the answeres. If you want to partner to tell you he loves you more often, then we should go to him and tell him we like it when he tells us this, instead of asking people 'why does he not tell me he loves me all the time', have we ever just stopped to think that maybe him telling him he loves us when it really matters is enough?? Then there is the issue of the C word, yes commimtent!! I have been with my boyfriend for nearly for years, and yes he is still my boyfriend not my Fiance, and thats not because either of us is afraid to be MORE commited, but its because we dont feel we are in that place yet. We all know the feeling when all of your friends around you are getting engaged, married or even having babies, although we are really happy for them, we then feel the need to ask our partners 'why are we not engaged/married/having babies?So for all you ladies, in love, single or even happily married, 'Why ask Why'?
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female
reader, Arriella  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 Because as the book says 'WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS AND MEN ARE FROM MARS', We speak Venusian...thats all.
We have a greater desire to know everything...And everything has levels of reason. Its just the way we are. Say there is a bunch of flowers placed on the table...a man bought these...why because they were pretty and he thought they would cheer the place up...A woman bought them...why? The way the petals were shaped were beautiful and delicate, their perfume reminded you of something lovely, their colour went with the decor, they would look lovely in a vase you had stashed away, and if someone had bought them for you then theyd be special flowers,and yes they would look lovely on the table....
We tend to analyze everything, its not because we are able to feel anymore emotion, we are just programmed that way. We can never relax without having all the answers, it must be much simpler for guys living with things being either black and white instead of shades of grey. If you stop asking why...he will soon want to know why and think you do not care...lol. We think all the little things make a differnce too, they would rather have one big jesture.We could go on, but we are attracted to men for the very reasons that they are somewhat opposite to us, we need that other side to make us whole. Even though we know they come from another planet....
A
female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Because instead of letting all the y's eat us up you just have to ask them. alot of the time its like word vomit, you knw u shudnt say it but its unstopable once its there. I know that its sounds weird, but my boyfriend asks why more than i do. so maybe its not down to the sex of a person but maybe how secure they feel in their relationshipp.its like kids reli, they ask why all the time because they find new things. maybe thats why we do it. we find new feelings and experiences and need to know why we feel that way.At the end of it all tho, personally for me, i ask why when i feel insecure with myself not with my boyfriend. Its just when i need to feel like hes there, reasurance reli.xxsxx
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A
female
reader, SeekingAdvise +, writes (24 August 2007):
 I think that you have struck a point that will never be fully resolved. I mean when i ask my boyfrend why its usually because ive spent days (if not longer) pondering the point and can come to no conclusion without asking him. Its stupid i know but even though we are very much in love, it takes alot for me to go and ask him why. Its silly and i dont know why women ask why so often but i think we are just seeking reassurances that, without letting our partners know we need, never come. Maybe we should stop asking why and enjoy the moments as they come. If we continue to ask why those moments where your partner tells you he loves you, or gives you that reassurence you need, begin to lose their importance and special value. Just remember, just because they havnt said it doesnt mean they dont feel it. xxxx
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