A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my partner for 3 years ( started living together early this year)He's been married before ( she left him) and lived with another girl for 2 years . We have so much in common in every aspect of our lives. We are planning to buy a house together early next year and he ofetn talks about our future together. Hes a flirt which i have learnt to cope with to a point. We've spoken about it on several occasions and he knows i don't like it. A year ago he had a " friednship" with another woman ( lunch, tel calls and texts) I found out by accident and after a heart to heart he apologised and swore there was nothing in it but admitted he'd been stupid . july this year i found out that he was in contact with another woman. He passed her off as a old friend yet it was the first time i'd ever heard of her!. Since then his behaviour has changed, mob phone off or if its on he doesn't let it out of his sight. His mobile bill is missing. . I've since found other evidence that points to them having frequent sex texts. I don't think anything physical has happened yet but wonder if its a matter of time before something does....by nature i'm not a suspicious person however i'm now full of suspicion and mistrust. His flirting is one thing but i feel he's crossed the line this time .I don't want to end our relationship but this is the second time its happened. Maybe his ego that needs constant massaging?I sometimes think he just can't keep away from other women even and he seriously doesn't see what he's done is wrong? i thought a relationship was as much about trust and respect for each others feelings aswell as love and lust...or am i expecting too much??thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Don't trust him. If he's keeping things from you now, then what's he going to be like in a year or two? My husband is exactly the same - endless text messages and calls but he says they are are all to a girl at work. He still calls her on his days off though, and he hides his bills, which get bigger each month. He also lies about other things which annoys me - so my advice is tell it to him straight. Either stop the texting and send his saucy messages to you, or part company - better now than in a few years when maybe children are around to complicate things.
A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 first your not asking for to much out of wanting that in your relationship thows are simple things but some times the hardest things to go by for sum and i for one cant figuar out why.
okay well you have said they have been having text sex?
do you know this for sure or are you thinking they are?
so he has cheated on you before in a way or just had to close of a relationship with a female friend ?
i think that you do need to talk to him about how you feel to see what can come of all of this but also it takes two to have a good relationship so keep that in mind but other than this i can say if he has a problem with wanting other women or really flirting instead of harmless flirting like me my self when i try to be friendly to my husbans friends and family i tend to flirt without knowing it.
theres a differnce between knowing your flirting and not caring and not knowing you are intill some one or another points it out.
i do how ever feel as he is wrong and hiding something if hes going thru that much trouble to keep her from you !
but you see i dont know hes side of the situation so i caouldnt give you much as you dont know what hes doing for sure it can be alot of thing and also not wanting you to know about a female friend in thinking you will be jealious or mad or even upset which i highly doubt but also he can be shoging her also so the list is endless
i hope you can speak with him and see whats going on you deserve the best and hope all goes well for you
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A
female
reader, BHigginbotham +, writes (20 August 2007):
 NO! You are most defintely NOT expecting too much. It sounds as though something is going on....I am not trying to sound negative or make you upset. BUT if this man truely loves you and wants to be with you than these so called "sex texts" should be coming to you. If I were you than I would defintely think twice about buying a house with this man. It sounds as though there are a few things that need to be cleared before making such a serious decision. I hope things work out for the best with you!!!
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