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male
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*airyTale
writes: Me and my gf just broke up 1 month 8 days ago. (im 21, she's 20)My life seems to be meaningless ever since she told me she has lost feelings for me...My life just isn't the same without her anymore, i have tried to forget her and concerntrate on my studies or go to the gym when i feel so down. I've tried so hard to not think about her but it isnot working... I loved her so much, i still do and i know that she will always be in my heart. I've been with plenty of girls in the past, but none of them gave me this feeling when i was with her, the things we've done together, all the things we've been through together is just magical and i know i won't experience the same things again with any other.After we broke up, i was clingly and desperate, i called her asking her back and did all those things that i shouldn't have done after a break up. After about a week or so i realised it and gave her space and time by herself till now. The thing is, ever since we broke up, her ex keeps trying to get back in contact with her. Now they are 'Good Friends' but he is trying to pick her up again, andshe knows it and still is hanging out with him. This guy in the past have treated her badly, he hits her, doesn't even care about her, and worst of all he cheated on her.I don't know if she still has feelings for him or not, but i am suspecting that she still does have something for him, why else would she still try and be 'friends' with him?? i just don't get it though, why would you still have feelings for someone who cheated on you and hits you in the past???I really really love her and care for her, i really don't want her to get back with this guy, i just can't let her go...Please guys tell me what she might she be thinking.... Does she still have feelings for this guy? do i really have a chance at getting back? what should i do? should i just continue and give her more space and time? i just love her so much i don't know whatto do anymore...
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 October 2006):
 Hey,
I am sorry if my communication was not clear. I know you had no violent intentions. I was making a comparison to his actions.
For get my books. Here is what I mean when I say emotional needs. I am posting it here so you can understand what I am saying:
I have identified 10 emotional-need categories, but for the purposes of this book, I will only list the category names here, and not a lengthy description of each.
The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman
1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation
2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie
3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid
4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the man’s “fault”
5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.
6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a woman’s reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.
7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.
8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman
9-Prove that you have high quality sperm. The best way is by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a “good catch” and he kids with you will also be a “good catch” enough to also attract a mate.
10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. (this one probably does not apply to you)
Basically, that guy has addressed all her emotional needs INDIRECTLY. He acts like a jerk, and she is hooked on him. If you address these 10 points, she will be more attracted to you, and you have your chance to get her back.
Stay in touch, and let me know how it turns out.
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, FairyTale +, writes (19 October 2006):
FairyTale is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have to adress all my emotional needs without violence???
i have no idea what you are trying to say, and i never did intend on using any violence... Your website seems to be all about buying your books.... i really don't know if these books would really help me, all i want is some advice on what to do from here onwards....
I want to give her space and time to think about our relationship. But each and every day without her is killing me, she is spending time with her ex who treated her so shit, and knowing that she is spending time with him is really really making me worried and saddened...
I just want another chance to be with her... why can't she understand how much i love her and that i would do anything for her...
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (18 October 2006):
Hi Hurting,
Dude I know EXACTLY what is going on.
That jerk is INDIRECTLY addressing her emotional needs. That is why she has feelings for him, even though he hurt her.
There is only ONE way for you to get her back. You have to address all her emotional needs without the violence.
How do I know? Because I did it. I got my exfinace back. It is in my autobiography and my books tell exactly what emotional needs are and how to address them, and a whole chapter on how a jerk does it.
Check out my website franktalks.com, and you can read all about it.
Good luck.
-Frank
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): trust me man, i've been in your shoes before. i was head over heels for this girl when she dumped me for some a-hole. and i just wanted to shake her and tell her that this guy was just going to hurt her and treat her badly. and why would she do that when an amazing guy (myself) was right in front of her? but unfortunately, you can't do that. because she won't care nor will she pay attention. if she's already got her mind made up, there's really not much you can do. i'd say just continue to give her space and time away. and in that time, work on moving on. because in my honest opinion, i'd say things are over with her. and as much as that sucks and hurts, it's probably a reality. and you may think right now that no one will ever compare or that you'll never move on, and she'll always be in your heart. but i promise you, that's not true. that's how i felt for almost a year, until i met my gf and i haven't thought about my ex in nearly 2 years. and my ex doesn't compare to my current at all. just give it time. i promise you'll be fine.
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