A
female
,
*hondadee1
writes: Well I was looking in my husbands cell phone and found a female co-worker number in the phone and I asked him about it...he tells me it's just for them to keep in touch but why does he need to be friends with another women....he asked me to get rid of all my male friends when we got married but now he is taking other women numbers...Am I reading to much into this because I am a very negative person about most situations.
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female
reader, stina +, writes (18 October 2006):
Hello Rhonda,
First of all he should have never told you who you were "allowed" to be friends with. He sounds extremely insecure and because of this he has most likely developed control issues.
Instead of getting all upset about this, I suggest you going to couples counseling. There, you will probably be able to talk with one another much easier and get to the root of the problem(s) - like why he wanted you to stop talking with males but he is allowed to converse with females. (You two should be able to have friends of the opposite sex.) Maybe something in the past happened that made him not trust you (or other people in general)? Whatever it is, I think it would be very beneficial to get professional help.
BTW - I don't think you're reading too much into this. Why would he have a double standard about opposite sex friendships? I'm not saying that he is cheating, I'm saying that there is a definite problem that needs to be addressed. You don't want your relationship to turn into resenting one another because of unresolved issues, right? With a counselor, you'll both be able to get the help you need. What you learn from your sessions will help to keep your relationship strong in the future, as well as in the now.
Take care.
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