A
female
age
41-50,
*arleyQuinn
writes: We have been dating for 5 months and he knows I have fallen for him, but I have no idea how feels about me or what he wants??? Twice this week he has said come off of birth control as I am not opposed to having more children. We only see each other once a week on a Tuesday and rarely on weekends as he is super busy, Why, just why would he want to have a child with me when we are not in relationship of any kind??? I am so confused and at 40 years old that is saying something!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 March 2015):
 OP I strongly urge you to prepare for your chat with him.
You are a dirty secret and possibly a little something something on the side even if he's not married.
He's not going to go gracefully into that good night and will come up with all sorts of reasons and sweet talk as to why he does what he does.. and PROMISES on how to fix it.
don't believe him.
time to cut this one loose.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 March 2015):
 HarleyQuinn (OP): WHY would you spend ANY time with this cad?????? .... beyond that (time) necessary to say to him: "You, Sir, are some sort of freak who has a peculiar attachment to your penis.... and what spurts out of it. If it's all the same to you... I'd just as soon never see - or speak to - you, ever again"....
That should do it!!!
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A
female
reader, HarleyQuinn +, writes (25 March 2015):
HarleyQuinn is verified as being by the original poster of the question Everything we do works around him and his spare time. I am seeing him this weekend and I'm going to lay everything on the table. I have never met a family member or been allowed to near his friends. I am starting to think I'm a secret fling and he isn't into commitment at all.
I know he's not married or has a partner already, but it's starting to suck that after 6 months no-one knows about me!
I am not going to be having a child with this man, I'm actually doubting everything about what I thought of him after that revelation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): Such a request would come from the typical sleazy low-classed player; who just likes spreading his seed wherever they can.
There are better ways to prove your manhood.
If you're not even in an official relationship; why the hell would he ask you to have a child for him? That is total insanity!
YOU'RE ONLY DATING???!!!
You apparently don't use condoms. If he's not committed to you; that means he's still single and on the market. He can infect you with HIV, or an STD. Birth-control doesn't protect you from that!
If you're wise, you will get as far away from that kook as you can.
Children are not puppies. You don't just breed them willy-nilly; simply because he's in the mood to be a sperm-donor.
I guess you'll have to detach and undo your feelings. Your hands are already full with the kids you already have! You've got yourself a certified wacko!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
ok so he asks and you have asked and he either ignores you or changes the subject... that does not sound good...
are there other things he tries to manipulate?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 March 2015):
If'n I were a guy who wanted to accomplish two things - trap a woman in to sticking with me, and proving what a macho man I am - then I would do what you describe this guy asking of you.
If'n I were a real stud in my own right (which I am), then I would never bring up such a subject until/unless I was MUCH closer to my lady-friend, and/or, SHE brought it up.
This whole thing sounds peculiar to me... AND, I would suggest that you NOT go along with him until/unless you learn a LOT more about him...
Good luck....
P.S. From you description of his and your timing ("super busy" on weekends?) I would suggest you ask him if his WIFE would be OK with his knocking you up!!!!
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A
female
reader, HarleyQuinn +, writes (25 March 2015):
HarleyQuinn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have teenage children and 6 year from my previous relation with my ex, but that does not give him the right to think I will just casually have a baby with him! My 6 year old has autism as it is and takes up a lot of time, energy and most of nights; then there is work, that is taking up time and then there are my oldest children. I'm a busy mum myself now and find if hideous he would say such a thing.
I am not crazy and no way have I taken these comments to be anything more the insane. I know my birth control is tamper-proof as it's in the form of a coil, but gosh, what planet is this guy on thinking that I would happily give him a child. We are only dating, we do not live together, we have not spoken about being a couple and like hell am I having a baby on those terms - or at all!!!
I really am going to try and talk with him again and hope that I do not get ignored or have the subject changed... again!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
No clue why HE would say it you would have to ask him.
WHY does it matter what he asks for?
Would you even consider this? I hope not.
just because someone asks for something does not mean you are required to give it to them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2015):
 Ask him.
I think it's a RIDICULOUS request honestly, unless you have some secret desire to be a single mother. Given your age the chance of complications, miscarriages and high-risk pregnancy is much higher after 40.
He will STILL be super busy on week-ends and whatnot because I DOUBT this man will give up HIS lifestyle to help take care of a baby.
I would guess that it's a "virility" thing. That IF he can knock you up he must be "manly". Does he have other kids out there he isn't taking care of? That would be another guess. Or he thinks that YOU must want a kid.
But here is the thing, WHETHER you have "fallen" for him or not... THIS is not his decision alone, WHAT do you want? You want a kid? You want a kid with him?
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