A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My question will probably seem very silly here to many of the young ones or men but to women in my age group perhaps they will understand what I'm saying.How is a woman honestly supposed to deal with getting older when men so obviously prefer younger womenFor those of us whose husbands have left us for younger women and who date men who look like they are about to cut off their right arms if the young women they stare at actually gave them a chance Are we supposed to just be satisfied knowing they settle for us because the young women often don't want them? Is that all that is left for women once they hit a certain age , always being considered as less desirable to men? It seems mens value often increases with age as his 'maturity , money acumen and life experience are seen as attractive by women men ( unless just young guys looking for Cougars for sex , which is not what I'm interested in) and a woman's worth especially to men her own age decreases to nothing
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): The disadvantage of being a young male does not exactly just switch off on our 18th birthday. Lots of guys still deal with looking "too young" into the later 20s. that does not sound like a lot of years but think about how influential those years are on the rest of your life. Think of the self esteem and self-image being formed in those crucial years. Not only having to deal with a bad period, but that's all you have ever known until its over. Your personality is pretty well formed by then. When it comes to wealth, if you are a male born into disadvantage then it can be pretty hopeless to beat that problem for romantic purposes. Most people cannot make major strides upward in their whole lives. The ones who do will usually spend decades doing it. Who wants to wait decades before getting your FIRST chance to live your romantic life without a huge disadvantage like that? By the time you have had the time to beat the problem you are well into your life. Its tough all over. I don't mean to be unsympathetic to your complaint. I know that dating difficulty is a depressing downside of getting older for women more than men. But I am always blown away when I hear women talk about what it's like to be men. They always seem to have such a distorted picture of how easy we all have it when it comes to dating. If you only knew. For every wealthy good looking stud having a great time there are dozens of struggling average joes who have a harder time than most women ever realize.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat may be true and 18 may SEEM a long way away when your 14 but in reality it's nof. At least there's something to look forward to not like the older woman where it only gets worse .
Also to the male who asked if I think looks is all that matters ? To me? No! To men ? Absolutely !
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): Men go through a bad period of being less desirable because of their age too. It just happens when we are younger, not older.
The average 14yo boy has a sex drive that would absolutely put a 38y "cougar" to shame. He has no track record of romantic or sexual experiences to make him feel desirable & help his self esteem. He does not have adult levels of maturity & self control. He faces a female gender that is choosier about wanting the sexiest partners than males are, especially in the young years before they are settling down for a long term relationship. And he isn't even legally allowed to have sex for several more years. Think about how far away 18yo seemed when you were 13 or 14.
Males' wealth/background matters to females too. But a teenage or early 20s boy is too young to have done anything about it yet. And the things that really move a young man ahead in life will usually not help him get girls his age. Studying hard, sacrificing & saving his money, not partying & getting in trouble, etc. Most teenage girls are deep in their "bad boy phase" right when it hurts boys the most to be acting this way. It just sucks all around to be an adolescent boy. Girl usually think it's a blast for us because they are only focusing on the most fun parts for the luckiest guys. Its not like that for most of us most of the time.
Is it impossible for a 14 or 21yo guy to get a date? Of course not. But 52yo woman can get dates too. Its just harder when you aren't in your prime years as far as the opposite sex is concerned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would class ten years either side of my age as 'my age ' and someone who doesn't want children as that is not an option. I would assume twenty years is a wide range but the thirty five yr olds seem to want twent five to thirty year olds and the fifty fives year odd seem even worse wanting only 18 -35 year olds
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 March 2015):
 OP I understand the wanting of the same experience and therefore you assume it can only happen with a man your age.
I strongly urge you to widen your search in terms of age.
I have a 28 yr old son who is so mature he makes me look like a child.
I am not saying go that young.. NOT at all but if you are say 45 I truly think you could go from about 35-60 in age range and be just fine. You say YOUR age... is it possible your range is too narrow and you are cutting guys off based on the same reasons they are hitting on you?
Do you ask age or do you base it on how they look?
do you immediately say "NO" when you find out their age even if you find them attractive? Is it an arbitrary rule?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso to the male who claimed that me not wanting someone much
Younger is the same as a man not wanting a woman his age . Are you
The same person who made the ridiculous comment below because it certainly sounds like it
The reason I want someone my age is because of the shared life experince and the fact we would be more compatible . The reason most men most older men don't want a woman their age ???? Shallowness !!!!!
Most of them DONT want kids or already have them!
The biological arguement does not wash.
So please do not compare me wanting a companion who is
Likely to have already raised his children and not want more like me , to have similar life goals and be at a similar stage in
Life to a woman who wants a tight ass and bouncy tits ;p
Also as for the poor .. Woah are men rubbish . Yes , it's true women
Are always valued purely on looks and it's hard when society considers them no longer as good but men who never are , far from suffering !!! Benefit because they are valued on more important things that are NEVEt lost .
In Fact they are considered more attractive with age most often and the other attributes that are valued in men are things that can br ACQUIRED such as charm money or charisma
Not a level playing field so let's not pretend!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh I'm just smiling from ear to ear now after reading that response from the lovely lady who stuck up for me and put that young fool in his place
I wanted to say the same and let him know that actually I'm extremely atrractive and also that I knowing many gorgeous women at my age or older but I was just so taken aback by his comment
He clearly didn't read my question anyway as he started prattling on about me wanting hot en or something ridiculous which had zero
To do with what I was asking . Sounds like a mysognistic on the loose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure why the last male responder thinks I'm aiming so high to want a guy my own age and the. Goes so far as to insult my
Looks because of my age
Wow , to be honest I get hit on mostly by younger men as I look quite young but agin that's NOT what I'm interested in ... For the billionth time I just want a man my age who also prefers a woman HIS own age !!!!
I think the truth is really really just shining through and being reinforced by this thread and the answers here. Yes, there may be a couple of
Men out there like that but they are few and far between . The rest are exactly as I feared and there's not a lot to be done about it except
Focuss on oneself and trust that those men will rarely find happiness either
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): To the last poster...
"Let's face it, at your age it is unlikely that you are some knockout gorgeous queen."
HUH? WTF?
Gorgeous can happen at every age.
Let me tell you something, young man, and I am pretty sure you are young for saying something so stupid... I AM A KNOCKOUT GORGEOUS QUEEN at 45. I can send you my picture taken 2 days ago and YOUR JAW WOULD DROP TO THE FLOOR and never come back up! I put young women to shame. That is a FACT.
What a fvcking ridiculous statement that was! Incredibly shallow and ignorant.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): I am 45 and I was hit on by an 85-year-old in the supermarket!!! Lmao
And my BF is 60!
So, yeah they do like younger women.
But remember you are a YOUNGER WOMAN to those men who ARE OLDER!!! So that is another market for you.
Don't place too much emphasis on it. LOVE YOURSELF regardless of all this age crap. We all have our own unique beauty at any age. So much of it is societal pressure telling women we must hang onto 20, have a tiny waist, big boobs, blonde hair, clear skin, long legs, on and on and on and on.... Seriously? Nobody has the right to tell me who or what to be or that I am not worthy or lose value because I do not fit some age requirement or physical stereotype that is unrealistic. There is somebody for everyone. Even the ugliest people are paired off. The strangest couplings sometimes too. Don't you ever ask yourself how this person ever got together with that person? Or wow, how could somebody find them attractive? We all think that. But despite it, everybody manages to find a partner somewhere. It isn't about the stereotypes. It's about being confident in yourself and you will attract men regardless.
Personally I am much more attractive than women half my age and much more confident and self assured. And young guys always look at me. So, nice ego boost.
Believe me, there are younger women who are unattractive, fat and do not take care of themselves. I think a man would always prefer a woman who is a bit older but looks better and carries herself better.
Just don't worry so much about it!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): This interesting discussion means that it is important to find a good relationship early then nurture it because as we all age the pool of available and likable people shrinks very fast. Speaks how awful divorces are.
As for old guys liking young, it does not mean that they all get them. Maybe those guys you think are hot know that, so they go for younger girls because they can while others lick their chops. Let's face it, at your age it is unlikely that you are some knockout gorgeous queen. So perhaps you may want to tone down your ambition about the type of guys.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): I just want to make a point. I as a guy find Suzan Sarandon a thousand times more attractive and sexy than any teeny popper that appear on the scenes today. Also so with Madonna.The point is that it wholly depends on the woman to keep fit and attractive and stylish and with it etc etc.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): As harsh as this is, I'd say you are finding out what it is like to be a guy his whole life. Because men generally don't get "hit on", taken out, shown a good time, or wined and dined. Most in fact feel invisible walking down the street, turning no heads, attracting no interest, and have to work for everything. If you want a man closer to your age, it's possible but you will have to put in more work than you're used to.
During your teens and twenties, you got to enjoy a level of attention and special treatment from the opposite gender that no guy EVER will, except for billionaires, rock singers and movie stars. So yes, it must be hard to feel that slipping away. But if you think such an existence sucks at 40+, try living it your entire life.
So you prefer men your own age and automatically discount those much younger or older. How is that any better or different than an older man discounting women his age? At least from a biological perspective, a 55-year-old guy and 25-year-old girl can still produce a child, while a man and woman both aged 55 cannot. That probably explains why men your age seek younger. And when you say a woman's worth decreases to nothing, you're only talking about sexual attractiveness. Do you believe that's all there is?
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (25 March 2015):
I know a woman who's husband left her for an older woman. So older ladies are'nt losers when it comes to dating. But not all older men like younger women. Yes, visually younger woman are appealing but not all younger women like older men either.
There ARE older men out there who want women their own age. Dating someone younger can be appealing but doe'snt always work out. It depends on the individuals involved. I like dating older men but know because I have no kids yet, the older single dads i date, often don't want anymore kids. So there's a problem.
I know it feels like older men ALL want younger women but that isn't true. SOME do others don't.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 March 2015):
 You ask: "How is a woman honestly supposed to deal with getting older when men so obviously prefer younger women.."
WHERE are you finding such men????? YOU are mature, smart, good-looking, adaptable, sensible... AND YOU'RE ASKING A QUESTION SUCH AS THIS????
I suggest that you adjust just WHERE you are looking for men-friends... because there are OOODLES of us (men) "out there" who would sell our souls to find a great lady like you...
C'mon... get moving!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): I really agree with this concept about age issues. I observed the same thing, about older man wanting younger woman. Yet my husband didn't leave me, he is loyal, but he totally stopped having sexual interest in me.
I think, he is just a nice guy, who does not act on his instincts.
And yes, it's different, when 30 year old woman have a 20 year older boyfriend, who is 50 , than the 50 year old woman , have. 70 year old man.
Cause than the woman is still young, but the man at 70 is quite old.
It is true, that. 50 year old woman never gonna get a real tru love , who is 20 years younger, or older. Both situation is very vulnerable.
So yes, it is interesting .
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
at 50 I think you could find a guy in his early 40s that would be fine and on par with what you want.
try OURTIME.com (I've never been there but it's for folks 50 and older)
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (25 March 2015):
Based on my experience...Younger men look for older women for their sexual experience. Older men look for younger women for their "I'm willing to do anything" sex drive.
A typical man who thinks with his hormones does not see that a younger woman gets older too. Soon, he leave her and finds another, and another...never truly finding what he is looking for. These guys normally die alone and have kids all over the place.
As for you ladies who are offended by being called a cougar...WHY? I would say cougar...no please...Tiger..thank you. An animal of prowess, dangerous, and able to lay down a sexual beating like you have never seen...That my dear ladies is not a bad image to have. But as a tiger...you own and dominate your bedroom...RRRR!!
Women have been called many other disgusting things over the centuries. Cougar is badge of honour...own it. If I was an older woman and some young buck thinks he can man handle me...HA!! You want a cougar...then he better be animal expert if he thinks he will out do you. Make that boy believe is on National Geographic wild kingdom.
Pay no attention to what men "think" they want. The only thing a man should be thinking after he has been with you is..."HELP!! I can't get up."
One of the problem with marriages today is...we become to comfortable, stop working, stop doing the things that got us married in the first place. Sex becomes a job rather than fun. The young girls are bouncing around and the men think "If I could have one of those, sex could be fun again." What he fails to see is "I am too lazy to make an effort with my own wife." But the young girl will leave him too...why...because he will become just as lazy as before.
If a man makes as much effort to impress his wife as much as a young stranger...guess what that relationship would be like???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): Since hitting 40 I seem to attract younger guys which I find flattering on the one hand but mildly irritating on the other. I never get older guys hitting on me. I have always steered clear of younger guys and prefer guys my age for a serious relationship. The same situation arises with my close friends.In fact two of then are married to guys 8 and 12 years younger. I think if you look after yourself and feel good from within your energy attracts similar guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I loathe the term cougar too and doubt Id ever be called that as I'm nkt at all like that
Ughhhh but honestly , the thought of being hit on by 70 year old men doesn't appeal much, nor does the thought of men the same age as my son, 25
What I'd like is men around my own age but again, it seems they and only interested in the younger women. Oh well I guess you confirmed my worst fears , young guys that I'm not interested in or old men ready for the nursing home haha
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
I don't have the same feelings you have.
I LOATHE being called a cougar just because my husband is 41 to my 55. I did not marry him or fall in love with him because of his age or he with me. In fact, for both of us it was IN SPITE of the age gap.
DO not discount that a younger man may be interested in you for more than sex.
We all want men to look at us and hit on us. and yeah I guess most men go for younger women as i find the guys that hit on me now are 70-90. Yes i get hit on by guys older than my dad.
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