A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why would someone go out of their way to not be searchable on social media and delete their online date profile on the day we were due to meet the first time? Wed been chatting for over a week through a site and thought we were getting on ok. Had to reschedule our original first meeting due to work and changed to meet again. But literally he's deleted his profile. Admittedly towards the end of the week we weren't chatting as much. But I think what a coward if he'd changed his mind why didn't he say? Some things I think; he's married, he met another, he wasn't interested. Guys what do you think? I wasn't pushy tried to show enough interest (perhaps I asked a lot of questions but wanted to get to know him). What a time waster!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 July 2016):
 There can be a few options:
Cat fish?
As in it was a semi fake profile. Someone with a partner already checking out and seeing what's "available".
He met someone else.
Or he is hiding his profile from YOU specifically.
With online dating "ghosting" (disappearing without so much as a see ya!) seems to be getting pretty normal.
EITHER way, it's a crapshot and you never know what you get. Someone who will set up a date, reschedule the date and then vanish... is not someone you should waste YOUR time on any more. Whatever reasons this person had? WHO cares? At least YOU shouldn't care. Chalk it up to "this was a dud, next".
Onward and upwards!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2016): You shouldn't allow yourself to get too enamored with people you've never met. The internet is full of scammers, frauds, and predators. You can't see them until you meet; so you don't really know who's on the other end, even if you Skype.
Only he knows for sure why he bailed; but mainly it's because they already have a girlfriend. She probably found out he's online by snooping on his devices. Very often these days, guys belong to several different sites at the same time; until someone rat's them out when they catch-on to a scammer. Or if they make inappropriate advances and get reported.
Write them off. Just like in real-time, you're going to meet a flaky bunch of creeps online. They're hiding something 100% of the time, when they vanish without notice. He may have stolen pictures and someone's profile; and they caught-on. So don't be disappointed, you ducked a bullet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2016): "Some things I think; he's married, he met another, he wasn't interested. Guys what do you think?"All are reasonable assumptions that you've listed in order of probability, although you've neglected that Catfish staple: "He" is really a 300 lb (136 kg) female.In any event I'm pretty sure that it was a fake profile set up strictly for trolling for women, and somebody whom he didn't want to know about his double life either became suspicious and/or busted him outright. Unfortunately that's the problem with dating sites and social media: Anyone can pretend to be anyone whom they want to pretend to be.Be thankful s/he didn't have the chance to string you along for months, I'm sure your first date would have continued to be postponed indefinitely.
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (26 July 2016):
As frustrating as this is, you will never know the real reason. You didn't know him, and he didn't know you. Move on and let it go, and next time don't put all your eggs in one basket- char to a few guys and meet them too. Until you've actually been in that date you don't know anything. Keep your opinions open then when this sort of thing happens it doesn't impact much at all, you just write them off as a lucky escape if that's how they deal with things
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (26 July 2016):
 I doubt it was anything personal. Maybe he started dating someone he liked, maybe he felt like the online dating scene really wasn't going in a direction he liked or he was getting disillusioned by it, or maybe he felt like he needed a break from dating. It sucks that you were a casualty, but this happens pretty regularly in online dating. People come and go, hopefully next guy won't be such a flake!
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