A
male
age
41-50,
*ommy2k7
writes:Here's a bit of background before I ask the questions:I started going out with this girl after she expressed interest in me and asked me, 2 and a half years ago. We were only together 2 months, as she cheated on me with another bloke.We kept talking after that, me trying to be friends with her, but it didn't work, so last summer we stopped; no text, no Facebook, no IM, no chatting, no emailing. (Also she dumped her bf after me, and then went with her ex before me, but I think they're having problems, as her latest MSN slogan is 'You'll never see me again no matter what you do', whereas before she had her name together with her partners name (I know MSN slogans don't mean a lot, but I'd want to tell the world who I was going out with))Here's the latest:Suddenly, out of the blue, after half a year not doing any of the above, she tried to get me on MSN, first on Monday (no success), then on Wednesday (success). She said hi what u doin? I answered, and then she asked about us, why I liked her so much, did I do something specific that made you like me so much; I said simpy 'because I did, and no she didnt do anything specific)Questions:Why, after not communicating at all for that time, would she bring our relationship up? (She was thinking about us, but I don't know why)Maybe she's 'testing the water'. Maybe she just wanted a bit more of a reaction. Maybe it's her way of trying to get me to give her another chance. Maybe she wants me back.One thing I do know: after no communication for 6 months, friends wouldn't bring that up out of the blue. There's something going on in her head.What should I do now? Ask her to meet me as a friend? Give her another chance?What do you think?
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cheated on me, facebook, her ex, msn, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (24 March 2009):
 no its because you told her wah she wants to hear and now she's trying to act like you're trying to get back with her but she doesn't want to know because you've told her why you liked her she feels better now and she doesn't want a coffee because she feels you're reading too much into it and she doesn't want you back hence her saying you'll probably want more than coffee.she's just playing you around like using you for when she needs to feel better.and kicking you away when you want to become friends
A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (24 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I wrote a small email to her asking if she wants to meet for a coffee and a chat. This is what she said:
i live a long way from kent now so would be a bit hard to meet up.. plus if we did meet up you would prob take it the wrong way and want more than jus coffee..
Maybe it's a way of getting me to react, just be friends, or grdually to become more than friends
This reply still doesn't really explain the reason why she brought our relationship up last week
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice so far
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 March 2009):
well yeah she probably is unhappy because as you said about her msn screen name about not coming back now or whichever it was but why she got back with an ex i don;t know because its the same with you
the relationship ended for a reason and whatever reason that is will not have changed
hence she cheated on you.
it annoys me when girls cheat on guys!
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know for sure if she has any problems, but I guess as she broughtout relationship up. she's at least a bit unhappy - don't you think?
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 March 2009):
hun!just ask her if she wants to grab a coffee to have a catch up and talk about her problems.i'd really not go there to be honest don't build your hopes up.she's probably just using you like the other guy said until she gets someone better.but being her friend is what she will need at the moment.just email her and say hey wondered if you want to get a coffee and have a catch up or something.
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, if I do ask her for a coffee, do you think I should wait?, and how do you think I should phrase the email, or what I use?
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHer dad does some work down near where I live. Do you think I should ask her for a coffee when he comes over next?
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 March 2009):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I've often wondered if we did get back together, for any reason, whether I would be able to cope with the emotions I felt when she cheated on me before. I'd really like other people's views as well
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (20 March 2009):
 You are her Plan B or C I think, she has been dumped by these other guys and you have made it clear that you like her, so in the event she can't "pull" anyone else you are there as her insurance against being single, until she finds someone she actually does fancy/has more money/bigger car.
I would be very cautious of girls that act this way they normally have low self esteem, and crave attention, therefore are very hard work and fickle in relationships.
My advise is find a nice girl that respects and likes you for you not just because the guys she likes have dumped her.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 March 2009):
Hun she is obviously having problems with her ex so maybe she's feeling a little low and wants some sort of a boost up from you.she's probably trying to reassure herself and wants to know why you liked her because maybe her ex whom she is back with doesn't tell her how he feels maybe she misses you being there to tell her these things she's probably just seeking some attention and love from someone as her relationship is going through a rocky patch.you could meet with her for a coffee but just as friends i wouldn't go back there as she did cheat and then got back with her ex and you guys had no contact for a while she may just be seeking a comforting friend at this time someone to talk too and be there for her as a friend.Hope this helps hunbest of luck :)
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