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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I've know this guy for over two years. In past we had some kind of a relationship, then he went abroad so it ended. We're still in contact though and last months he texts me almost every single day, we have long conversations, we laugh..I had birthday the other day and he didn't wish me, though he knew i had birthday because of Facebook and he saw my Instagram story about it, so he could just reply to it with birthday wish.We have many mutual friends and he always wishes birthday to everyone, even to friends that are not at all so close to him as me.The same situation happened on my birthday an year ago.Why does he wishes happy birthday anyone but me? It makes me a little sad, i thought we are friends/or maybe something more..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2021): With all due respect the other responses are missing the point. Her friend DID know! It was done on purpose. You have every right to be upset. But that person is doing it well knowingly that you will be hurt. Keep your chin up! And make new friends who care. I had to let my friend of 20 years go because he was incapable of celebratin good times with me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2021): Well, he's not forgetting your birthday. As you said, it's all right in front of him on Facebook, but your point is that he chooses to ignore it. I can't imagine why other than....
Cast your mind back. Did you ever say anything to him that could have been misconstrued? Maybe he thinks you don't like birthdays?
I've been reading back through some of my diaries recently and the things I said to a guy I really liked sounded as if I didn't like him at all and I never realised at the time, how what I was saying sounded. I knew what I meant, but I bet he didn't! That's why I'm thinking along these lines. Another guy I was dating used to go out with me Tuesdays and Thursdays until one week, he didn't get in touch on the Thursday. I didn't say anything, until the third week, when I asked, "Are Thursdays not an option any more then?"
He looked confused and surprised and said, "Yes, they are. I thought YOU couldn't meet on a Thursday anymore."
Goodness knows where he got that idea from, but you see, misunderstandings do happen. Maybe that's what this is.
Apart from that, ask him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 January 2021):
 There can be many reasons it happened. We don't have a magic crystal ball that tells us WHAT went on in his head.
If he didn't remember it last year maybe it's not so strange that he didn't this year either.
My thing is this, your birthday is just that. YOUR birthday. Someone wishing you HAPPY birthday doesn't always mean they care, and someone forgetting? Doesn't always mean they don't.
People forget.
You had "something" going on a couple of years ago, doesn't mean he now OWES you to remember your birthday.
And it's really not worth being upset over him NOT saying happy birthday. You can still enjoy your day, you can still enjoy all the OTHER wishes you got from people.
It might be a little thing to consider, should the opportunity to ACTUALLY date him arise. That he doesn't apparently pay enough attention to YOU to remember your birthday.
My husband forgets anniversaries and birthdays. I don't. I really don't care. He does remember mother's say, which to me is silly, but OK. Since my birthday is around Mother's day he likes to combine them. And that's fine by me.
You need to not let the little things upset you, it's really NOT worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2021): A belated Happy Birthday, my dear! May God bring you love, joy, and happiness throughout the year!
I have one coming this week myself. You know, I have many friends and colleagues who remember, and a few who don't. It is what it is! My family doesn't always remember, but I love them all the same! I don't take any issue about it; because I know they love me, and show it each and everyday! I get love from every direction, and acknowledgement of birthdays don't mean as much as showing me unconditional-love "just because!" Biggest gift ever!
Sweetheart, you could ask HIM why he missed the last two birthdays? We couldn't answer that question better than he could. Would there be any answer he could give that would make you feel any better? He'd wish you an obligatory happy birthday, but that wouldn't feed the bulldog right now...would it? He's an ex, and he gets to pick and choose his sentimentalities. He isn't held to any responsibility whatsoever. You're not his girlfriend anymore. If you wish to remain friends, forgetting birthdays seems to be one of the irritating reminders as to why you're now exes!
Here's my advice. Send him a humorous message with a meme. Let him know he forgot your birthday, not once...but twice in a row!!! You can demand little token or tiny gift to make up for it! With one caveat. If he has a girlfriend, and has had one for the past two years, she may be intercepting his acknowledgements out of jealousy. Girlfriend's prerogative! If he's single, his prerogative! Too much sentimentality and emotion can be misconstrued, so maybe he sets his own weird boundaries. Who knows?
You and he have reasons you're exes! In my opinion, you'd really be better off moving on; rather than being upset he forgets your birthdays.
If you've decided to maintain a post-breakup friendship with an ex, you really don't get to complain about this or that; when you have every option to disconnect and move on. "Just say'un!"
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