A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I just want to make sure I'm not crazy. I dated this guy for about a year and we really hit it off. We split and remained in touch. I will admit I still liked him. I moved away and came back in town he told me he had a girlfriend so I backed off. One day a few months later, I stopped by to say hi. We saw each other for about two months, and I was browsing on Facebook and noticed he was married and his wife was pregnant. I'm confused as to why he kept seeing me and never mentioned his wife or child. Did she know? Did she think I was seeing him for kicks? Did he think I was seeing him for kicks? I think I heard him tell one of his friends that me and him were friends, but I never thought he was saying that because he was married with a child on the way. He never mentioned it. I brought it up to him. What was he thinking. Why didn't he tell me he was married? Why didn't he tell me he was having a child? Isn't that something you tell.Please help, I'm confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2021): Pardon the typos, I meant to say:
"Um, because cheaters don't give you a personal background-check when they want to cheat with you. Your ignorance is to their advantage."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2021): Um, because cheaters don't give your personal background check when they want to cheat with you. Your ignorance is to their advantage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 January 2021):
Why didn't he tell you?
Because you were something on the side. He was the one seeing YOU for "kicks".
Learn from this. Next time, before you get too involved - get to KNOW the guy, check him out on social media (that really seems to be a good way to get a little knowledge).
Did the wife know? Probably not. She might have been told that he had a lot of extra hours to work or help a friend or whatever LIE he fed her. Did she care (IF she knew) I'm pretty sure she would have.
If he had told you:" hey by the way I'm married, are you OK with being the side chick? "
Would you have said:" yes, sure!"
My guess is no. Most women DO NOT want to be a mistress or side chick.
So that is probably WHY he lied to you, lied to his wife and CHEATED on his wife with you.
LEARN from this. No more "dating" married men.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (22 January 2021):
When you brought it up to him about why diden't he tell you he was married, why diden't he tell you he was having a child, i assume you received to response from him about these questions?.
There really is only one possible answer to these questions OP, and that is he is a bare faced liar.
He was married and wanted you as the bit on the side, and he would have continued with this had you not found out he was married.
I would bet that his wife knew nothing about this. I would not necessarily say he was seeing you for kicks, just the joy of having another something on the side.
I know your confused OP, but think to your self that you dodged a bullet here and your out of this mess, and the only way now in onwards and upwards.
He is a liar, a cheat, and not someone you want in your life. Delete him on everything so no more contact can be made. Take a deep breath in and think how lucky you are you found out this now rather than a couple of years down the line.
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