A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, This may be a strange question... my son who is 12 today, received a birthday card from his dad (my ex)that was signed with my ex's name instead of love Dad etc. In brackets next to my ex's name he has written in brackets 'your daddy'. He has never done this before and my ex and I don't talk because he was abusive to me in the relationship and only communicated through third party (his parents)so I can't ask him directly what he meant by this?Does anyone else think this is strange? I can't understand why he just didn't write love Dad?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2016): I think you are looking way too much into this, what if he accidentally wrote his name instead of dad??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2016): Thank you Honeypie, I think you have hit the nail on the head. He was and still is all of those things, that's why I stay away from him. He hit me and I finished the relationship. You are absolutely right about him being a gloater, whenever he contacts me he gloats that his moved on, although his relationships never last. He can't understand why I haven't moved on, but try explaining to him that I'm caring for our son and bringing two boys up on my own and not to mention I am wary of men because of what he put me through!I do report his abusive emails etc to his parents now, they are good people and support me and the boys and I will continue to use them as third party.I do find it sad and pathetic that he uses our children's birthdays to get at me. He can be like this at Christmas time as well. I will continue to ignore him . Please note I've moved out of the home we shared and moved me and the boys to a lovely area and a bigger home where my youngest who is 5, (who I'm currently caring for full time as no school placement yet)and my eldest are going to have a good life.I thank you for all your answers.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 If he was manipulative, controlling and abusive when you were together, I can easily see why this puzzles you.
MAYBE, he KNOWS that you would notice it and perhaps he hopes you will WANT to ask him why. So he can get back to communicating with you. And if you think THAT is the reason, all the more reason to IGNORE it.
He obviously isn't a very good dad or father figure so if he does passive-aggressive little things like that, I bet it's more to needle you than your son.
Best thing you ALL can do is ignore it. He is who he is and would probably be gloating that this little "thing" has you worried.
Stick to using a 3rd party and ignore the man.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 I think you are over-thinking things. Not everything should be analyzed and there are, more often than not, no secret or hidden messages behind the way one signs a car.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2016):
 You are looking for a reason this is a change.
I am sorry you and your ex don't get along and he is a jerk.
I am also sorry he is trying to shirk his CS responsibilities, however in most locations visitation and child support are not tied together at all and one does not depend on the other.
him contacting YOU directly has no bearing on his visitation or his child support.
sounds like you may need an impartial 3rd party to negotiate with the ex and his parents.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2016): My son has just made a joke about it, we both did in the end. I know it probably sounds that I'm over thinking this but I know my ex and he always has method behind his madness.
My ex has recently got upset about the amount of csa he has to pay and has been asking his parents if I will allow him to email me. I refused as he hasn't paid in the 4 years since we split and its money for our boys.My ex normally sends a birthday card off an internet site and they were all from 'Dad'. He seems to have gone to a lot of trouble this time. Please note he never sent a birthday card this year to our youngest son who has autisim.I'm sorry but because of these reasons I find it weird.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2016):
IF your son is wondering why not have your son ask his father.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2016): I do think that it's strange and pretty passive-agressive as well. Just don't give it that much thought, let it slide and move on.
Have you been dating recently, or have someone special in your life? This could be in response to that.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (18 April 2016):
You are over thinking this. I'm sure there is no hidden meaning. It is just a card.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2016): I am the original poster of this question.
Both me and my son are wondering why he has done this. My ex wrote it I recognise his handwriting it's very distinctive as he writes all in capital letters.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 April 2016):
Are you sure HE wrote the card?
Could it be his mom/GF wrote it?
Or maybe he thought that since your son is turning 12 he would word it in a more "grown up" way? By using his name as well as his "title" (daddy).
It's impossible to tell why. I wouldn't worry about it.
It's a card from him, HE can sign it as he pleases.
Is your son questioning this or is it just you?
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