A
male
age
,
*hilDrewery
writes:My wife and I have been together for 40 years, and our sex lives have always been 'satisfactory', nothing out of the ordinary really, only occasionally doing something rather daring.However, about six months ago she started taking medication and she now regularly has some very strange, sexually explicit dreams. Well that's not so bad, but her sex drive has gone through the ceiling, so to speak, and has explained to me that while we have sex she has in head images of the kind of things she is doing with other guys in those dreams.It really turns her on and she has powerful orgasms every time, which is highly unusual as she struggled to have orgasms previously.Might sound great.... but leaves me feeling inadequate, not to mention struggling to keep up. Is this kind of thing unusual or should I worry more about it?
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male
reader, PhilDrewery +, writes (19 April 2016):
PhilDrewery is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, many thanks for your answers and questions too!
The medication is Champix (varenicline), her first course finished in late January, then restarted late February, due to end again pretty soon, I think end of April.
Just seems strange to me that this seems to have unlocked her sexual imagination to such a high degree - some of the things she mentions are way out of the ordinary, and quite shocking actually.
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (19 April 2016):
You didn't say what the medication was so I shall hazard a guess instead. (It was a genuine question when I asked earlier - not a facetious "I'll have what she's having" kinda comment.)
My guess is that the medication is called Mirtazipine which is used to treat depression and anxiety and insomnia. I was on this medication for a short period and experienced the same side-effects. I thought the increase in libido and the increased enjoyment of sex touch was down to me no longer taking SSRI medications which are notorious for dulling these senses. I also had vivid dreams but unfortunately mine were not pleasant and I quickly became too scared to go to sleep so I was taken off that medication.
Just enjoy it - I'm sure your wife isn't rethinking 20 years of faithful marriage just because of a few dreams. If the dreams really bother why not ask your wife to stop sharing them with you and just enjoy the sex.
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 You should not be concerned with her dreams. Whatever is in her head, stays there and she does not act upon it. She has you to fulfill the reality.
You should be concerned about the medication as in what other side effects might it have given that it is such a powerful stimulant. You should also concern yourself about your fitness and eroding stamina. If she is able to boost up her libido, you should look to do the same. Hit the gym, get your hormones and vitals looked by your doctor to. See if you need testosterone boost, look at supplements... then enjoy all this new found kink.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 April 2016):
 Man, this is looking a gift horse in the mouth, huh?
I do recognize that you're feeling self-conscious because you feel like its not YOU providing your wife with such pleasure, but a medication. Maybe you feel like it's not real or legitimate.
My guess is, this medication has just unlocked all kind of chemicals and biophysical responses that she probably SHOULD have been having in the first place. Look at birth control. For me, birth control acts like an inhibitor. My sex drive just flat lines. But, when I'm say, pregnant, my sex drive just goes through the roof.
Chemistry is weird. The body is weird. And sometimes the body just doesn't put out what it ought to. Maybe this drug is finally giving her the right balance.
So I'm going to venture to say, you need to change your perception of this. It's not that she's finally made sex exciting with you. It's that she's finally able to experience sex as SHE ALWAYS SHOULD HAVE with you. If her little neurons are firing a little differently and hormone levels have changed, this is a blessing - and if it's making her healthier and happier, then this is the way she always should have been.
Enjoy this to the fullest!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 April 2016):
 Yeah! What's the medication?? heh.
Don't feel inadequate! She's with YOU! Obviously if you only rated your sex life with her as "satisfactory", then she must have rated it the same. Whatever the reason or dreams or libido spike, ENJOY IT!
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (18 April 2016):
What's the medication? (The generic name not the brand name)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2016):
 Clearly this is a positive side effect of her medication.
I wouldn't worry unless she or her doctor is worried.
why are you feeling inadequate?
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