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Why would my boyfriend try to convince online women that he used to be a girl?

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Question - (11 October 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. He has never been that passionate or overly comfortable about sex, which has got me down in the past. However, he has been a model boyfriend in mostly everything else.

A couple of years ago I found out he had been emailing a former work colleague, and ridiculous as it sounds, had convinced her that he used to be female (and I guess had a sex change). He emailed her with all sorts of stories, including being raped by his step-father (his parents are happily married and great people), amongst other things. I met this woman without him knowing, and she told me all these stories he had concocted, which I told her were complete rubbish. Anyway, I confronted him and he said it was just a joke he had got carried away with. Anyway, last week I found he has been doing it again with another female friend, telling her stories of his sexual exploits as a teenage girl, even emailing false pictures of him as a young girl! My head is in a spin and I don't know what to think. Does he have some kind of gender identity disorder??

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A female reader, Pinky Poos +, writes (12 October 2005):

I'd say no. The internet is an opportune time to recieve attention, especially if like your boyfriend you crave attention. Men and women love the fact that they can write the most startling things online that are not true and recieve the most shocked responses. It's a form of escapism and it sounds like your man has just found a particular subject he feels genrates a lot of response and attention. Confront him again and tell him how disturbing these conversations appear to you. Ask him what he gets from them and alert him of people that have been raped in the past and that it isn't a joking matter. What if the person he tells has experienced the same and opens up to him, will he be prepared to comfort someone who opens up to him thinking he has been through the same experience.

Also, what if someone tries to get help for him, he is playing with fire and you know what happens in the end....you get your fingers burnt.

As far as pretending he was a born a female, again it's just attention, but ask him what he gets out of it.

Good luck sweetie.

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