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*alcon23
writes: In July of this year I had an argument with my wife of nearly 3 years.Basically this argument resulted in lots of home truths coming to the surface, particularly on my part. I was carrying a lot of baggage which I basically projected on to her. I caused her great pain and hurt. I promised myself at that point to sort out my life and we agreed to take a month from each other in order to do so.Three months later, things are now worse than ever. Our relationship is now hanging by a thread, there is no physical contact, no communication and she resents the things I said. It seems she is unwilling to forgive me.I genuinely believe I have changed (sought counselling etc...). I love her but do not think that she feels the same anymore. She hates talking about it and has buried herself in her career. I am willing to wait, but unsure of how long I should do so, as it may end up being a waste of time. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, pops +, writes (14 October 2005):
See if she will attend counseling with you. No one is perfect, and you are not the sole reason there are problems in your marriage. There is a little truth in all criticism, and I suspect she has some of her own bad habits to change, and to atone for. If she won't go to counseling with you, and won't see a counselor on her own, I suspect you should plan on this marriage is over. Sorry, but you will have at least learned a lot about who you are, and what happened to all those dreams you had with your wife when you married. Most divorcees marry again. And, the second marriages tend to work out better.
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female
reader, paigero +, writes (14 October 2005):
I think she may have buried the feelings that she had so it would be easier for her. She might just be scared to come back into the relationship for several reasons. I think you should take one last stitch effort to shower her with romance. Send her flowers with a caring message or take her our for a romantic dinner and don't bring up the past. If she doesn't respond to this then you will know she has moved on.
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