A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My boyfriend was out of town on a guy's golf weekend. I got a flat tire while he was away and needed some help to drive to the tire store to get a new tire and run an errand while I was not able to drive.So I called my guy friend who is only a platonic friend to help me out. I have no feelings and no attraction to him whatsoever. He also lives close by so he is an easy choice to call. He was happy to drive me around. I told my boyfriend Tom that Rob drove me around and helped me out. I have no secrets from my boyfriend. I am always honest. Tom did not like that Rob drove me around. Tom said that Rob has a crush on me and would do anything for me. He said that even though I have a boyfriend that Rob thinks he has a chance with me and that I am leading him on and giving him hope where there is no hope.I thought it's ok to have male friends. Rob knows the deal. He knows I love my boyfriend and am happy with him. I have told him so. Tom thinks that doesn't matter. He says he is a guy and he knows how guys think. He said that Rob is trying to be nice and helps me out because he is trying to show him up and look better than him. That he can do more for me and is trying to win me over.Is this how guys think? Why can't my boyfriend accept it was just a friend helping me out? Why does he go on about ulterior motives? And why does it bother him that a friend was actually able to help me out when I needed it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2016): You aren't so happy as you think if you have to get ego stroked by Rob
You aren't so happy as you report if you manufacturers situation just to piss off Tom
So it shows you do know what you did was sneaky teenage style retaliation . Innocent me you say
You need more friends and pay the small fee for AAA
What is CAA? What ever it is you need it as you are playing helpless female- which is kinda silly as you are older
Who put tire on car?
Not a happy relationship, you get irritated and act like teenager. You want long happy ever after stop pretending
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2016): It's OP.
Actually female Anon, we've been together 3.5 years and are very happy.
As for other friends, nobody else was available and I do not have CAA nor did I have any other way to get a tire unless he drove. I did ask my other friends and nobody else was available. And I needed the tire so I asked Rob.
I must admit a part of me might have been trying to make my bf a bit jealous because he has been going on quite a few golf excursions this summer and I was feeling a little neglected. I guess I wanted Tom to see that I am desirable to other men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2016): Hi, youre 30-35 and you don't understand why your boyfriend might object to you contacting a male friend who has a crush on you to drive you around? If you were 16 or 17 that might make sense, but it age 30 to 35 you might have a bit more understanding as to why he might be upset. So I noted too that you mentioned right up front that he was away at a guys golf weekend. What does it matter why he's away? Could be away for work, he could be away visiting family. So that inclusion right up front to just that you're irritated with him that he went away on a guys golf weekend. And you somehow find a way to ask the guy who has a crush on you to drive you around. You're in the US, changing a tire takes so little time now, you could've called AAA, you could've called your friend Tracy, or your friend Stephanie or your friend Marsha or your gay friend William. But you called the guy who has a thing for you. Because your boyfriend was away on a guys golf weekend. I'm thinking this relationship won't last long.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2016): Actually I'm a mental health nurse ..and majority of men who are friends with females think like this ..
Doesn't mean you do though and if you want rob as a friend . then say to tom if he does that his choice for me it's just friendship. And thank you for making me aware of what you see . If he crosses that boundary I will tell you . Solved
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2016):
 Is your boyfriend also in his 30s? I think your boyfriend is insecure and does not like you having male friends, have you been together long? This could be the start off some controlling behavior. If he was secure with you he would trust you, but obviously he is not. Talk to him tell him Rob is your friend. If he does not like it then tough, it is your life. Do not let him isolate you, not all men think like jerks, and if your boyfriend thinks that a man is only nice to a woman for one thing, then that shows what kind of guy he really is.
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