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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ive been seeing my boyfriend since august. Been official since december. I live in the north of england as does he, but is from the midlands. I know we havent been together too long but its going really well and i really think its guna last and i think were on the same page. Anyway we planned to go and visit his mam, dad and sister this weekend. They live in the midlands and we'd be staying for 3 nights. He's saying that he told her weeks ago that we were coming but he spoke to her on the phone tonight and she said she cant remember that conversation. She also said she thought he needed to grow up and that he had only known me 5 minutes and shouldnt be bringing me back. She also said she didnt want to meet any new girlfriend as she still missed his ex. Although he was broken up with her for over 2 years and they were together for 2 years. I now really dont want to go but hes insisting that i do saying they'll love me when they meet me. Im stuck! Should i go or not?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 June 2014):
 I'm glad you are going OP...I agree that BF should call dad and sis and make sure they know you are coming.
Mam just may be resistant to change.... hopefully after she meets you she will like/love you as much as her son does.
best of luck.
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (19 June 2014):
 Hi
Im glad you are going to do it. Sometimes people are very different when you meet them in the flesh than you expect from their demeanour before hand. His mom might be very different face to face. She may be very warm and welcoming and offer you a lot more than you expect. :-) Perhaps your BF didn't explain himself or your situation too well or she misunderstood?
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2014): Hi i'm the op. Thanks for your responses. I dont think his mum has any issue with memory loss as this has never been a problem before. My boyfriend may have forgotten to tell her before as he can be flighty at times. Yeah im 30 and my boyfriend 34. And yes mark i'm off
to Birmingham so i'll see your lovely hometown i suppose. I think i will go i was just hoping a warmer reception was waiting. Never mind. Thanks for your responses.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (18 June 2014):
Hello,
So you will be coming to my part of the world - The Midlands eh? I'm originally from Birmingham and have the accent to prove it unfortunately.
Sounds like his mother may have some issues with memory loss, confusion or dementia. Assuming your fella is your age, or thereabouts, and known you since December I hardly think its a case of only knowing you five minutes or needing to grow up. I guess this is a permanent issue for his mother (sorry I cannot use the term "Mam" being a Brummy LOL)
After 7 months with you, your BF feels its time for you to meet his family and i'm sure he knows whether you meet them now or later, her issues will be the same. I would go along. There are times in relationships where you have to do things that maybe you don't feel 100% comfortable with but its best to go through it and form an opinion afterwards. You may enjoy it and they could be lovely people! If nothing else, you get to take in the sights and sounds of the Midlands!
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2014): I agree with Tisha 1. Yes, you should go if he insists. He is the one forcing the invitation. If you meet a problem when you get there, you leave. He's there to vouch for your presence; his mother sounds like she has a little problem.
I find it odd he doesn't explain her behavior.
You still get to meet them, and if your boyfriend thinks they'll love you; trust him on it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 June 2014):
 Go. His mam sounds like she may have some memory issues, if she can't remember the phone call and still misses his ex of over 2 years ago.
He has to make sure his dad and sister know you are coming, I would be very worried that the memory issues would mean that mam hasn't told his dad or sister.
You can't control his family reactions and I think it's a good sign that he wants you to meet them. So get it over with and see where you are.
But I'm really thinking memory loss... sadly, I have some familiarity with this issue in my own family.
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