A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: a guy I've been talking to for 4 months lied to me about having a girlfriend,even though I asked him specifically if this girl was. we're only "friends" but we do have an intamate relationship.. when i found out i told him i didnt want to be his friend anymore..now hes buying me flowers blowing my phone up and still wants to be in my life..he claims he cares about me..why would he lie about it and why is he so persistant on keeping me in his life? and why is he always joking and questioning me about my male friends?
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female
reader, xLittleMoo  +, writes (20 September 2010):
move on, hes not worth your time,
he clearly has no consideration for your feelings or he would not have lied! sorry to be blunt, but its true, i was in this situation about 4 months ago.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2010):
 He wants to keep you both interested so he can pick and choose who to sleep with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Because he likes to have it both ways. My advice is to dump him.
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (20 September 2010):
 It does look like he likes you, but he hasn't been prepared to change his current situation, and no doubt he has some fabulous excuse, but the bottom line is, for the last 4 months he's cheated both you women, and turned you into the other woman, something that he no doubt knew you would not tolerate when he met you. He has lied and decieved you, and you never had a clue, he says he cares and I dont doubt that he does, but he still has the morals of an alley cat, who for 4 months strung you along. Even if he dumps girlfriend, would you want a man like this in your life?
This isn't down to him anymore, this is your decision now, I had this happen to me once, realising that he needed 2 women to make him feel whole, made me realise that I was only getting half a man, I wanted a whole one, so i broke off completely, Even now I often wonder how he is, then I remember how he was and wonder how many other women have felt the way he made me feel, I was just a pawn in his game. He got someone else now, and yes, he is still with his poor long suffering oblivious wife.
I'd say continue ignoring him, refuse the flowers, dont let him play with you anymore, he dont play nicely.
You have a good set of morals, I think you've done right, so well done you, you'll find your prince soon, just see this last one as one of the many frogs you have to kiss first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): He needs someone to fall back on. He knows when he's on a good number.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (20 September 2010):
 He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He sounds like the type to give no thought to how his actions might affect others, and instead figures two girlfriends are better than one.
Considering the way he's been acting, I doubt he'd respect your decision to stay friends, and would instead continue trying to win you back. It would be best to move on, in my opinion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer to my question. I've never done anything like this before,this is my first time on this site or anything like it..You made so much sense. It drove me lightweight crazy trying to figure out what he was thinking or feeling....so thanks again !!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): It sounds like he likes you as more than a friend, but isn't willing to do anything about his current relationship. I think it is up to you what you want from this guy. If you think you could deal with just being friends with this guy, then I think that is okay. But if not, then I think it would be best to let him go. Friendship is fine, but by asking about your male friends it suggests that he is interested in more than that. Which isn't fair on you, since he has a girlfriend. You deserve someone who wants to be with YOU and you only. As long as he is already in a relationship, you will always be second-best, and that will start to hurt. So you could make it clear to him that it is friendship only...but if that is going to be too painful, I think breaking away would be the best thing here.
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A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 sounds like he wants cake and icecream. tell him the ice cream just sold out
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