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anonymous
writes: Having some trouble with my live in boyfriend and need some input. He was on his computer the other night and I saw that he had re-added his ex gf's name on his msn messenger. They had a very nasty, bad breakup (3 yrs ago)and I knew he had blocked/deleted her and she did the same. I asked him what she was doing back on his msn contact list? I was calm but firm. Knowing the history of this woman, I did want to have a few answers. My concerns is more about what happened AFTER I asked him this question. Instead of just answering me and opening this up for further discussion..he flipped out!! He ended up losing it and getting very angry. Yelling, shouting and ranting. He went so far as to viciously kicking a piece of furniture and breaking it. Fifteen minutes later, after he did it..he apologized and could not understand why it bothered me. But it has, it has terrified me. It was bizarre! 'Why' did he act this way? I have been in a couple serious relationships before and this has never, ever happened to me. This was new to me. Can I get some opinions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I did talk to him about this issue but I waited until we were both calm. He still didn't offer any clear explanantion. But he did take msn messenger, off his computer. He said it wasn't 'worth the heartache' of losing someone special, in his life. Anyways, as far as the broken piece of furniture. He has repaired it and has promised me he would get his 'angry' feelings under control. I have low tolerance for this type of behaviour. This is something my 14 year old would do and even 'he' can get his anger under control..much better than my bf. Keeping tabs on my situation. Right now..it's day to day. If this happens again, this guy's ass is outta here! I 'd rather go it alone than put up with this grief.
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female
reader, Italie  +, writes (9 March 2006):
 My other half is the same. If I ask more than two questions it's apparently 'the spanish inquisition'. He doesnt like to think I dont trust or believe him and thinks I'm trying to catch him out if I ask questions (admittedly sometimes I am!) If you ususally ask a lot of questions maybe he has just built up this defensive barrier like my other half. I dont think it's necessarily anything to worry about or that he is cheating. He just doesnt like you thinking that he is.
I dont think you were unreasonable asking the question though. It would have annoyed me too.
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female
reader, gypseyrose +, writes (9 March 2006):
I understand how you feel! Initially when I met my boyfriend we had a really open relationship. But as we got to know each other and I asked him questions about his past he would go absolutely balistic to the point where I would ask WHY is he being so touchy overy things that seemily meant nothing to him?
Hence, my personal opinion is that men HATE to be asked questions, whether it be about their ex girlfriend or their past, they feel it's telling you a bit more than you should know, and is something they want to keep to themselves?
I hate the fact my boyfriend is like this, but I have learned that this is the way he is as that of many of my ex boyfriends were the same way. Bad and all as I think it is, I have learned that this is my own way of acepting him???
Don't know why?? If it was that irrelavent why do they get so touchy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): He is either extremely sensitive or he has done something wrong. People tend to over react (is that two words?) when they have done something wrong.Something is disturbing him obviously, so all you can do in your shoes, is speak with him and tell him that he has acted irrationally and should make it a habit of not blowing for no reason.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): thats a very good question, i think there obivously something going on there as he wouldn't of reacted in such a way. i think you really need to speak to your boyfriend about it.....there's something obiously going on between him and his ex. it might not be something for you to worry about but he would of reacted the way he did if there wasn't.
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