A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and an old time friend have slept together more than once weve have known each other for 12 years but problem is he has a girlfriend! I really like him a lot why would he cheat if he is happy with his girlfriend? Does he actually have real feelings for me we were friends before any of this happened do i try and make him mine or leave him to enjoy his life with his girlfriend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): You are basically giving him easy, no-effort access to some reliable "side-action".
Many men refrain from cheating simply because they fear getting caught. With this situation, you are good friends, you know he has a steady-gf(he does not have to make up a story to tell you or lie to you), and you have no strings attached sex with him. Many guys(not all!), even in happy and healthy relationships, will take advantage of this.He will tell you what he thinks you want to hear to keep it going for as long as possible.
He probably still loves his gf and has no intention of breaking it off with her. Men can separate relationships and emotions easier than women I think. In his mind you are a good friend who he sleeps with when the urge arises(a FWB).His relationship with his gf and his relationship with you are completely separate.
I have seen this situation unfold before and it always ends the same way. My one friend has had a steady-gf for 3 years and has also been sleeping with another girl,off and on, for 1 year. The girl knows he is hitched and is calmly waiting for him to dump his gf for her(so he tells us) yet if she knew that he intends to propose to his gf and how solid the relationship actually is, she would move on. He calls her his "booty-call" and has no intention of making her his gf. She is just a friend who he sleeps with, nothing more.
If you are okay with being a fwb,a cheap thrill, or an ego boost then keep at it...if not, move on.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2013):
 “Why would he cheat if he’s happy with his girlfriend?”
The easy answer is usually the right one.. BECAUSE HE CAN. And he can because YOU allow it.
I think the bigger question OP needs to be “why do I think so little of myself that I allow a man with a girlfriend to bed me repeatedly?”
You ask “does he actually have real feelings for me?”
The answer you want is the truth.. YES he has REAL feelings for you. BUT they are not the feelings you want him to have. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. HE also does not respect you. When I just had started dating my husband, his friend was told of me and his response pretty much sums up how men feel about sex with women “It’s (meaning me) old and not that attractive, hit it and be done” DO YOU SEE that to men women who put out are not even PEOPLE but OBJECTS????
Should you try to make him yours… NO you have no shot at it. IF he wanted to be with you in a true relationship he would not be with his girlfriend. YOU are a handy penis holder for him. NOTHING MORE.
LEAVE him so YOU may enjoy YOUR LIFE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): "I really like him a lot why would he cheat if he is happy with his girlfriend?"
Why not? Free, easy pussy, it's delicious OP and two are better than one. We guys don't have to be sad or lonely to want pussy OP, we'll take it whenever and pretty whomever lets us stick it in.
You can tell yourself it's because he's unhappy with her, you can convince yourself this gives you a chance. But it doesn't, you're just easy for him so he takes you.
It's up to you what you do OP, but if you think he'll treat you any better than he's treated her then you're in for a nasty shock.
You see the problem with women like you, who justify cheating on the basis that "he must be unhappy" is you assume you can make him happy so he'll have no reason to cheat. You'll learn the hard way that's not the case.
The sad fact is OP, you're side pussy, he has even less reason to respect you, or trust you because he knows you too don't mind cheating.
OP if he respected your friendship, respected his relationship none of this would have happened. He sounds like a great catch OP, ruin two relationships just to get some extra pussy.
My advice would be to just keep being his side pussy, go to him when he wants sex and just leave it at that. you want him to be happy? Open your legs and shut your mouth.
Or you could go for a guy who doesn't treat his friends as a warm hole to stick it in and his girlfriend as just a piece of dirt not worthy any loyalty to.
But you're a cheater too so you don't care. I vote you go for the open legs one, you need to learn this lesson properly, the vicious way.
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A
female
reader, Diera +, writes (3 April 2013):
I've been in this situation myself. (Although I hadn't known him 12yrs!) You try to make yourself believe that it all must mean something and that if his gf was so important he wouldn't cheat on her. Thing is, it's sort of like having your cake and eating it. He's comfortable with is girlfriend and can get that 'spark' of doing something he shouldn't from you. I know its hard but just tell him that you are not going to sleep with him again whilst he's got a girlfriend. His reaction should tell you how he feels about both of you.
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