A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why would he say that to me? Is it a compliment?I was talking to this cute guy I like. I'm very quiet and shy around him and he's quiet Around me too.He said I'm very mysterious and a princess I said why does he calls me a princess he said I like to get my own way and sulk and get upset if I don't and that's how princesses behave.Why would he say that? Hehe. Is that even a compliment?
View related questions:
flirt, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): I read your response and you're rationalizing how you think he feels. Yet he said something to you that slightly offends you. He wasn't too shy to call you a princess and give you his personal opinion why! Holding doors for you means he's either a gentlemen, or mocking you. Stop and think. He's chatty with other girls and quiet around you. Try lowering your air to just be sweet and approachable.He senses your crush. He isn't leading you on or encouraging you to see him as anything but a nice guy. That is all. He obviously isn't shy, or he wouldn't be chatty with anyone. Maybe he's right about the "princess" to some degree. You feel you're "special" above the other girls. He opens doors for you, yet you quietly enter; instead of striking up a conversation and showing HIM special attention in return. How many opportunities do you need, your majesty? I mean that with humor!If you really like him, and you think he likes you.Then prove it to yourself! We can't do it for you.We don't know this guy and we can't read his mind. You can keep up this childish dance; until another woman steals his interest away from you, if it exists as you suspect. So I guess you're going to have to stop acting like a little "princess" and ask him if he likes you, and would like to go out with you. Being bashful is okay when you're a little girl. It's silly when you're a grown woman. He says you sulk when you don't get what you want. This time what you want isn't just coming to you! The dare is in your face! He isn't delivering his heart on a silver platter. Now what?You like his attention. You seem to always be conveniently around enough to know he acts differently with other women, as compared to yourself. So what's holding you back? He's wondering the same thing perhaps. The other girls let him know they like him. You majestically observe from a distance. Snobbishly pretending you hardly notice him.Try getting what you want. A woman can make the first move.It's the 21st century, for crying out loud. If he isn't interested, please don't sulk!!! I hope there is no truth in that unkind observation. Hopefully, he's just teasing.The prince is waiting!
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (27 April 2013):
OP, you're trying to prove he likes you, and he probably does. But his comment wasn't a compliment, and that seemed to be the point of your original question. I don't think it was an insult, but I'm from the US, it may be different in the UK.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): If you like him then stop being quiet and shy let him see the real you. He could be inerested but this dance you two are doing is just wasting time.
Girls who sulk are not on MY agenda cos I go for maturity somebody who is not gonna behave like my kid sister.SO he pulls you up when your upset and opens doors he is trying to avoid your sulks he is pandering to you.
Yea he probably fancies you a bit but my guess is he won't ask you on a date/have sex till you mature
Do you have any girl mates or stuff you do to distract you from this guy ?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has alot of girly friends but he treats me differently. He's quiet around me whereas he's very chatty with his other girl friends.
He hold doors open for me & let's me go first all the time & when I'm upset or sitting down he holds me hands to get me up.
And he doesn't do any of these with his other girl friends. & when he's talking to them & I approch him he stops talking to them & flirts with me or say something to make me smile.
Like I said I'm very shy & keeps to myself.
Like today he was with this very attractive girl & when they approached the door he walked through & she followed but he'd open & step aside & let me go first. All the time. He's such a gentleman with me but he's soo quiet I wish he'd talk to me like the other girls:(
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (27 April 2013):
 Hi
Sounds like he thinks the fact your quiet and shy means you think your above people and aloof. A princess is somebody who throws a strop or sulks to get their own way.Who thinks they are special.
If this sounds like you then no, it was definitely not a compliment and am not sure why he felt the need to tell you.
Perhaps he is saying,change your ways and I may like you back or he may be trying to help you out in general here.
Your shyness or behaviour is giving out the wrong signals. Not just to him, to others too.He doesn't sound very nice.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 April 2013):
 No, it's not a compliment in general, and in your case, he even motivated in a way that I wonder how can you even doubt he meant it in a good way !
Unless you think that being someone stubborn ,childish and demanding that always want to have things her way and pouts and sulks when she cannot is a nice personality trait to have... then no, he was not complimenting you, he was criticizing you.
Why would he say that, it beats me, because the way to the heart ( and to the bed ) of a woman is surely not to call her out on her real or presumed flaws right off the bat, and based on a superficial first impression. So, if he wanted to endear himself to you, he chose a strange way.
I think anyway it's a good occasion to give yourself a dispassionate hard look and see if there's something in what you say or do that makes you come off as conceited or standoffish etc. I mean, if in good conscience you know you are not a princess , you are not bratty, do not take everybody for granted, etc... maybe there's something that gives the wrong impression about you and it would profit from being changed. Like, often shy people come off as cold, standoffish etc... and they are not, they are just self conscious.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): Princess is an insult OP, especially in Ireland and the UK. Princesses are spoilt, demanding, high maintenance drama queens that think they're better than everyone else and have a sense of entitlement. Another word for princess is diva, surely you know what a diva is, Bridezilla then is a princess or diva who is getting married.
OP 'mysterious' is just code for "I can't think of anything I like about you at the moment". It's just a nice way of saying I can't think of any compliments for you, then he followed that up by calling you a spoiled brat.
The guy is not only cute but he's complete charmer too, isn't he?
Now the only way I can see either of those as complimentary is if he loves the idea of dating a petulant child. But you know what, it's up to you what you deem a compliment.
I mean some women (a lot actually) don't find you telling them they have a great ass as a compliment. To me that's a compliment but it's not up to me to decide what feels good to hear.
Does the idea that this guy thinks there is not a whole lot to like about you yet and that you're a spoiled brat that throws her toys out of the pram if daddy doesn't buy her lollipop, make you feel good? Was that a nice thing to hear? Then it wasn't a compliment, no matter how what he meant it as.
"Hey baby, so far there's nothing I can pick about you that's awesome, in fact you're a petulant child who sulks and is demanding." Is basically what he said to you.
It's up to you to decide whether you think that was nice or not.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 April 2013):
 It's not even Feint Praise.
He thinks you are high maintenance as, in his opinion, you sulk and act petulant when you cannot get your own way.
No one likes to see a person who acts as if they are entitled to special consideration and special priveleges, just like a princess. But I think he may be mis-reading you the start.
Though telling you that you are mysterious is not as bad as that suggests that despite the parts he does not like he has not fully figured you out yet. Now that is a good thing. He is trying to figure you out as he cannot explain everything about you yet.
A Princess tag might be a bit rich though. Because what he may see as stand-offish and aloof and Princess like may just be that you are shy and he had not realized that yet.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 April 2013):
It's not really a compliment. It means you're spoiled, but not really in a mean way. It's not an insult, just an observation.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): That's a left-handed compliment. He apparently has been observing you from afar. In a sense, he is telling you I've got your number, and I know a little how you think.
In my book, that isn't exactly the best pickup line. It is derogatory in a way; because he is actually telling you that you're a diva. Maybe he feels you're spoiled and he's hinting that he already knows something about your behavior. So it's a veiled warning that you won't have your way with him. I might speculate that he has been talking to a mutual friend or an ex. Perhaps someone who travels in your circle of friends.
Play it cool to see where he's coming from. This is a time you might want to be a little coy to get his guard down; if you have any interest in him.
I'm cautious with people who size me up before they get to know me. I might recommend the same to you. He was throwing a slight curve and relying on the ambiguity of it.
If what he says is true. I think you might want to modify that sort of behavior a little, if you want to attract nice men. Sulking is childish, and when men think you always want your way, they may not take you seriously. Their first instinct is to hit and run.
Mind your manners, and look out for red flags. Your post indicates you're not sure this was a nice thing for him to say. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and your feelings in check.
...............................
|
