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female
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*oken_butterfly
writes: Alright I was with this really great guy, :wub: my first boyfriend, but I started to notice that he was falling away from me and then he just up and dumped me. :( Now he never really talked to me on the phone which I understand. I'm not that much of a phone person and we only saw each other two days out of the week. He broke up with me over the msn, but a couple of days latter he comes back to me and tells me that he really think he screwed up.Now enters everybody else. All of my friends and family are telling me that he left me because I didn't put out.. It's not like we didn't DO anything just that I wouldn't give him sex, not till I'm ready. :mellow: I'm still a virgin.Well he comes back and tells me that it wasn't about the sex that he didn't care about that and that he was really mad that people were saying that he was using me because he wasn't. He says that he got scared when my friends and I were talking about moving in together... one of my friends included him in the living arangements... He says that he had everything going for him and he just messed it up, that he just couldn't see where we were going in the relationship.Part Of The Convo...............................................All his words:i feel that... im flat-lined... but when im with you or even have the slightest thought of you i get a pulsei miss you.. i miss the way you act... the way you can never make a decision... the way you laughthe way you make me feel..................................Now he says that he needs some time to sort things out in his life and school and that while he's doing this he would really like me to be there as his friend and that when he is ready to have a girlfriend that he wants me. Thats where I'm lost. All of these things are so confusing. He really broke my heart when he dumped me and now he tells me that he still wants me but he wants me to wait for him. I'm not sure what I should do in any of this and would greatly apreciate any help any of you guys would be willing to offer.What Should I Do!!! :(
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broke up, msn, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (6 October 2005):
 You know, deep down inside you you already have the answer to your question. Im sure your feelings towards him is leaning either towards him or against him, and only you know that. But judging by your reason to post this question, your confusion on this matter and the words you used here in your post (really great guy), it sounds to me that you still do care for him a lot and want him back dearly. Now, I might be wrong here but I honestly doubt it! So it might be that you might want to wait for him a little longer and see what happens next. Thats perfectly fine but do give yourself a time frame to move on if things dont turn out the way you want them to be.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2005): I think you should remain friends, if that's what you want. But I also think you should make it clear that you are both young (still in school) and you both need to experience life. It may be that you find someone who wants to be your boyfriend, and you want to be his girlfriend too. You should be free to do that. The only way this "waiting for each other" deal can work is if it happens naturally, not by some bond of a promise.
Above all, please remember that you are young and when we are young, everything seems so much more serious than it really needs to be. I was told this when I was young and I wish I could have grasped the concept. I just feel I had to put it out there:)
I must congratulate you on your virginity! Seriously! I think that is a lovely thing for any young woman to treasure until they find someone to love for the rest of their life. I'm sure it would mean so much to that person, whomever it may be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2005): It sounds like it his loss not yours. some times people do stupid things that they regret. If its his first time then he probable wants it to be special. If you want him back, you have to let him no that your willing to wait to and you have to some thing romantic and special with him. you have to let him no that he is not being pressured in to any thing to quickly.
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