A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a friend ask me for advice and I was just wondering if I can some other people's ideas before giving him any advice. My friend had a one night stand with a girl (I know for certain it was not a relationship, just a once off) anyway a few months after she tracked him down where we hang out and told him she was pregnant and he is the father. He asked for a DNA test just to be sure, and she refused and got really angry, saying that she hadn't been with anyone else in ages only him and he should just take her word for it. They have talked on and off during the pregnancy, but whenever he brings up the topic of a DNA test she stops all contact and starts talking trash about him, at the places that we hang out. My question is this, why would a woman refuse to do a DNA test to prove to him that he is the father, if she was certain that he was the father?
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Hi,
Thank God!!
Tell your friend to be careful next time.... Use protection, and be careful because there are many crazy girls out there like this last one...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update, She finally gave my friend a dna test and it came back that he isn't the father after all that. So finally after months of anguish he is now free of her for good. Thankyou for replying to me question.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (31 October 2011):
Hi,
Rather this woman is telling the truth or not, a DNA test is absolutely necessary in this case, specially because it was a one night stand, and because they did not have a relationship, and do not know each other at all.
She has not right to be angry, it's only fair to your friend to know for sure. This will completely change your friend's life forever, and he will have to support emotionally, and financially. it's a huge responsibility.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Two possible reasons:
1) She's basically honest, but insecure, and considers asking for the test to be the same as caller her a liar. She needs to man up and accept that men deserve the same certainty about their children that women have had throughout history.
2) She's lying and does not know he's the father - she just wants some dupe to pay for her kid, and the DNA test is a threat to her ability to cuckold (which she probably considers a God-given right). She is evil.
Another pertinent question is whether the pregnancy was an accident or an "accident."
Whatever the case is, tell your friend NOT to act in a fatherly role, give her any money, or sign any papers of any sort from her (*especially* the birth certificate) until he's tested the kids. She will likely sue for child support, and anything he does to act like the kid is his now will be used against him in that suit (an unfortunate legal side effect of the modern culture of promiscuity).
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (30 October 2011):
 There could be many different reasons, but I don't know of any. My point is, she can't expect for this guy to believe her without some proof. They didn't have any type of friendship, it was only one night, so he's being reasonable and she isn't. If she wants this guy to be a part of her child's life, then she's going to have to respect his decision because it's unreasonable for her to expect him to trust her on something like this. This guy isn't walking away, he just wants to know what he's getting himself into. So unless she decides to compromise, then she has no right to be mad or confused if he's not in that child's life.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (30 October 2011):
I see two possibilities:
1. Perhaps she feels like he is questioning her integrity?
2. She would like your friend to be the father, but is uncertain whether he was the man who contributed half of the child's genetic material.
Regardless, she SHOULD be encouraged to submit the child to a DNA test to establish whether or not your friend is the father for the child's sake. In certain countries, fathers can be taken to court for 'child support.' additionally, establishing paternity will provide her and the child with peace of mind in the future as they can talk to the child's father about his medical history. Without establishing paternity using a DNA test, the father has no rights to child and the child cannot receive any support from the father.
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