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*onderingnworried
writes:My husband and I took a pic of our internet password because we are always being asked what it is from our guest and we don't feel like going up stairs to the box each time. Anyway, I was on his phone looking for that pic and I found a pic of his penis soft. I asked him right away what was that all about?? He said in his nervous voice what? I thought I deleted that! He claims he was just playing around and when I looked a bit into it he took that pic while I was out of town. Something about it is weird. I said how is that playing around if you weren't going to send itHe really has no good answer that makes any good sense. But I think the biggest thing is, we been together over 11 years and I know when he's lying. I can feel it. But what do I do? Not like I should end the marriage over something I can't prove, but I don't like this doubtful feeling I have and he gets mad if I bring it up. Now what? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2016): I loved your answer (brownwolf) I never thought of the situation in that way. Now I'll through something out there to see what's you opinion. I'm 29 and married for 3 years but together for 7 years. My husband seems to love the Facebook phenomenon and adding pretty girls and liking and admiring threir pictures. He also has a friend from work which he used to constantly talk to behind my back and text her nice things and she would pictures (non sexual) of herself which to me is a sign that she's interested in him.Of course I was furious and wanted him to stop talking to her which he did for some time but now he has reconnected (talking)with her and I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to be worried about this woman taking him from me. He said she's just a friend. I even got to that point that I was spying on his phone and social media but all that's made me is more insecure. And because of that he has blocked me from all his social media.I am not sure whether to just trust him and allow him to have his friends. When do I butt in.
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reader, Slippers  +, writes (13 January 2016):
I'm kinda on the same wave length as brown wolf but will tell you my story it may make you look at this differently it may not My husband one day sent me a pic of his todger all alert and happy as brownwolf puts it .. I was totally flabbergasted..insulted and lost for words at first .. I mean we've been together 25years since I was 15teen what the devil do I need that for and he was working .. so he comes home and I challenge him, why you sending me that now ..so here what he sheepish said .. that due to there being tons of news of sexypics being the in thing, he thought he would try it .Maybe your hubby thought the same .. but couldn't get it standing to attention and thought I won't bother and then just didn't delete the pic.. If he was doing something like cheating " would he give you his phone ? " My answer I think " not " Make him a lovely meal get a great movie in and when your relaxed raise it for the last time .. why .. because if he was thinking of doing anything your going to damp well make sure he knows what he be losing you .. All the lovely dinners .. All the snuggles .. All the sexy kisses .. tell him you don't like those kinda pictures .. ( btw I'm no prude but I see my hubby's I don't need a pix of it haha ) Laugh and tell him you had a thought it maybe he was considering someone new and if that was the case there wouldn't be you .. and he had to release that .. tell him ..If he did you wouldn't be sitting on a shelf waiting .Then drop the topic ..if your gut still tells you something up .. then time will tell .. until then you need to relax and think if he is ..you can't change his behaviour .. you can only control yours and for every action there will be a reaction .. you will come out head high with a clear consciousness. But honestly guys don't let their spouses see their phone if they are ..Take care sweetie
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2016): I think you need to stop talking about it. Your gut instinct is telling you something. If he is 'attention seeking' while you're out of town that says more about him than you. Just an idea .... did he take the picture for any medical reasons? I would have thought a hard penis was more likely to be used for fun.
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reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 January 2016):
 When you have been out of town in the past has your husband ever sent you pictures like these? Or is it completely out of character for him to do something like this?
As you said he is your husband and you know when he is lying. Therefore talk to him again, tell him you know when he is lying, offer him a chance to explain yet again. Tell him how it has made you feel, and how it will end up effecting your trust if he does not start to be honest.
It could have been an innocent photo he was maybe bored and was looking for someone to entertain him online, or it could be more sinister and he has cheated. Either way he has been disrespectful and now he needs to be honest.
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reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (12 January 2016):
Easy thing to do...Get mad, don't trust him, always be suspicious of everything he does, check his phone and all other media, question his every move.... And that would be the easy way to end your 11 years of marriage.
Reality...Men and women get...routine over the years...happens to all of us, and yes, we would like something new and a little...spicy..once in awhile. I am sure you may wish your husband or maybe some handsome hunk would get your engine going once in awhile too :)
He may have done the same thing. If he has NOT cheated, and just looking to get his engine going, then what you found on his phone is a good thing. It says...there is a problem in my marriage and we need to address it. If he has cheated...then of course things are very different.
If is it just an act of getting attention or looking to get Mr. Happy...Happy...Then use it to your advantage. Tell him you want a picture too...You want Mr. happy...Very happy in the photo. When he is done with that, he knows where to put Mr. Happy, because he need to make someone else happy :)
Getting angry is very easy. Doing the wrong thing out of anger is just as easy. Seeing things for what they are and realizing there maybe a bigger issue...much harder to do...especially when you are clouded with insecurities, doubts, and suspicion.
Talk...and then talk some more. You didn't get 11 years just to throw it all away on one floppy happy picture. :)
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