A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated my ex for about a little over 3 months. It's been well over a year since we dated. A lot of things went wrong, as he was manipulative, emotionally damaging, and incredibly selfish. Drama went on after I broke up with him. He continued to message me after he went away. It's been over a year and half and he still sent me emails. A while ago, he asked me to meet him, which I declined and he replied in a very childish and almost threat like fashion, saying how I should be grateful that he's trying to make things right with me. When I ignored, he begged again and said I was nice to him and he didn't even deserve it. So it's been like this. He begs me, can't get me to care, so he gets angry, and then resort to begging again.This came up again because he recently sent me some emails expressing that he "loves" me and likes me no matter what. I don't understand why someone can be so relentless. He no longer knows me and I've made sure that he isn't a part of my life and never will be a part of my life again. And it's not as though he doesn't have girls in his life. He's currently chasing someone and he knows that I am not interested in even becoming casual acquaintances with him. So why is he emailing me still? Not once did he ask for forgiveness for the way he ridiculed my sincerity, kindness, and care for him. I still did my best to forgive him. Why still send me emails telling me he loves me and wants to tell me all about his life? He doesn't need my approval so why seek after it? I just don't find this logical at all. What did I do wrong here? I've not given him attention of any sort, so why won't he just get over it and get off my case? I don't get how someone can be so obsessive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Its hard, i understand. I'm in the exact situation you are right now. I broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago and he's still texting about wanting to meet me and ask about what he did wrong and saying all these things to win me back---none of that worked. I have moved on already and don't want to talk to him again. What you need to do is ignore his emails, calls, text, etc. Hopefully then he'll get the hint that you don't want anything to do with him. If he keeps bugging you and threatening you, change your email and phone number. Worst case scenario is to put a restraining order on him. Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 November 2008):
 You can finish with him, and you have. That will be infuriating for him. I also feel sorry for his new one. Ive got an ex like yours and I finished with him numerous times only for him to manipulate back again. I got the nice guy swinging to nasty guy and back again. Eventually I stuck to my guns. He's now with a girl 8 yrs younger than him. She will find it very hard to get out the poor cow.
Good luck
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAhh thank you everybody.
Miss Potter: Yes that guy you dealt with is clearly a nut case. My ex also called me about 7 times once at 4AM in the morning. I tried to make sense of it all, as I am a logical person but I can't. So I guess like what you said, he is just a sick person.
hlskitten: Thank you for pointing out that he is a controller. I feel really sorry for whoever he is chasing because he can be charming and he's a good looking and athletic guy. I really don't wish for any girl to suffer the way I did.
icelordess: He no longer has my phone number and I blocked his email address, thankfully. He's already pushed me before, when I tried to break up with him politely and calmly. He pushed me down on my kitchen floor and said I can't get rid of him. Isn't that frightening.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Hey, ive known a guy like that. we talked for 8 months then he came over to visit me, i did suspect that something was wrong as he would call me like 40 times if i didnt pick up the phone, he called my work number, house number, even at 2pm if i didnt call him back. i sensed there was something odd but then he also sent me tonns of flowers and cards and chocolates so it would put to rest my suspicions for a while. then after he came over i didnt like him and said i do not wish to continue talking to him. he went all crazy. calls at night, work, house, mobile, my sister and my parents got involved. it took 3 months for him to shut up and stop calling me, ive changed my email address and my mobile phone number, blocked from my msn and skype accounts. my sister hasnt changed her number and occasionally he would still contact her - usually saying abusive things. So see, a very similar pattern. Sick people, you cant help them, so just save yourself and ban them from your life. All the best x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 November 2008):
Because he is a manipulator. All the being nice, getting no response so turning nasty, is a classic pattern with a controller.
He hasn't changed and your instincts are right to stay away from him. Its a shame most others dont have the same quality.
If you ignore him and dont respond in anyway, he will move on.
If he meets someone else that reminds him of you and is also a challenge, he will move on.
Then he will repeat the same pattern with the next one, and the cycle contines. Because thats the type of guy he is.
C xxxxx
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